Wait, No Goals? No Goals At All?

Not only am I a Capricorn… yes, the goat (the one who will climb up a mountain without hands) but I am also a super achiever. I think only doing two things at once is slacking.

So when I came across this article, Achieving Without Goals, I was skeptical to say the least. I like goals, I like lists, I like progress and I like measuring progress. When I do business coaching, I often start by asking about goals (personal and professional).

The author believes that goals are inconsistent with contentment. Also, “Goals, as I define them, are having a set outcome” and “When we fixate on goals, we shut ourselves off to new opportunities that open up in different directions.”

The older I get, the more I like the idea of no goals. But there is a big difference between “no goals” and having a predetermined notion of what the outcome must be and then thinking ‘success’ is determined by that. Serendipity is an important part of life and enjoying the benefits of running into people, ideas and results without driving them… is a great way to go through work and life.

So for today I’m setting aside some of my goals… but I’ll continue to work to reach my goal of writing a weekly blog post. LOL.

photo credit: Flying bartimaeus

Tweet That Job: Recruiters Love Twitter, Do You?

If you are a job hunter and you are not using twitter, perhaps you want to think again. Why? Check out this article, Top 5 Twitter Apps for Recruiters.  If you’re one of those people who still thinks twitter is stupid, then skip this post. If your mind is open, keep reading.

If recruiters need automated tools to help them post their jobs to twitter… then it must be worth checking out.

Let’s run through a few of the reasons WHY recruiters use twitter:

1. It’s free
2. It’s easy
3. It has broad reach
4. It separates out the ‘dinosaurs’ from the people who get it

I hear this from some job seekers.. ‘but I have all this experience… they should want to hire me for that, not for whether it tweet or not.”

This is true… you do have excellent experience… but so do lots of other people. And those people have updated their skills, are engaged with the world and want to be connected and learn new things. Argue with me all you want. It doesn’t change the facts.

My friend Charlene Kingston has an fantastic eBook to help you get started. Twitter for Beginners. She also has awesome tools, eBooks and online sessions for small business people. Check it out. She rocks.

Know Thyself and All That Jazz

How do others see me? I mean really see me?  How closely do you think your self knowledge matches what other think about you?

If you are familiar with the Johari Window – the diagram shows us that each of us has parts of ourselves that others can see that we can’t. The goal however, is to make our public self window the largest of the 4. What we ‘know’ about ourselves is the same is what others ‘know’ about us. Perfect self knowledge is not possible but that’s not the goal.

It’s likely that our ‘hidden self’ – “what others know about me but I don’t”…that negatively affects our personal and professional effectiveness most dramatically.

So what can a person do to move their self-knowledge from ‘hidden’ to public? In her new book, Reinventing You: Define Your Brand, Imagine Your Future, author Dorie Clark suggests that we follow these steps:

• Read through old performance appraisals — look at the areas for improvement – is there a pattern?

• Look at your online presence – if someone didn’t know you, what would they think about you?

• Conduct your own 360 degree interviews – ask people who know you to give you one area that could improve your effectiveness. You will need to be prepared to hear things that might ruffle your feathers. No matter what they say… don’t react, thank them for their input. Choose these people wisely. These must be people you respect and who respect you. One or two good sessions can give you many things to work on.

Look, I know this isn’t easy. What if they tell you something REALLY hard to hear? Counterbalance the difficult with the good. People for positive feedback too. Tell them you are looking to be more effective and want their help. Make sure that you have support from family and friends. Then dive right in. Modeling this behavior for your children is better than telling them 100 things. Agree or disagree?

Image credit — Mr. Johari? Ms. Johari?

Find Your “Zone of Genius”

Do you think you are an interesting person?

In her book, How to Be More Interesting in 10 Steps Jessica Hagy shows us direct ways to enhance our “interestingness” (my word). Here’s my suggestion. Get a piece of paper… rate yourself on a scale from 1 to 10 (with 1 being no way and 10 being — I’m already doing that every day!) — how comfortable are you with each of these?

1) Talking to strangers

2) Exposing yourself to ridicule, risk and wild ideas

3) Learning an entirely new skill; especially one that interests but intimidates you

4) Embracing your inner weirdness

5) Ignoring the “scolds”

How’d you do?  If you scored above 50, you’re on your way. Below 50? What are you waiting for ? There’s a saying, “when the student is ready, the teacher appears — but you have to be looking! In my experience the teacher is already available – I just haven’t been paying attention.

– Don’t hide your quirks; they are what make you interesting!

–Don’t let the ‘shoulds’ get in your way? When others will criticize you, be prepared. Don’t listen. They’re projecting their fear onto you. Push it back to them.

So this relates to your “Zone of Genius” – a term coined by author Gay Hendricks. Here’s how she describes it:

“Your Zone of Genius is the combination of your innate talent and your greatest passion. Innate talent, for this purpose, is how–not what–you do what you do. Your greatest passion is the activity that you could do for countless hours with unending fulfillment.Finding your zone of genius can be tricky. We’re all blind to many of our own true strengths and weaknesses, so it often helps to find an objective, supportive person to help. Knowing your Zone of Genius also makes you caring, humble, and brave.”

The ‘teacher’ can be anyone… your child, spouse, co-worker, an old friend, a complete stranger. You just need to let go and ask for help. It will be there. Go!

Photo credit: RiÃ?©Kââ??¢

Be a Great Negotiator in 5 Easy Steps

We all learned to negotiate as children. Depending on who we learned from, we either learned that success meant win – win or win- lose. Competition is healthy and there are occasions where one needs to ‘win.’  The Olympics — for instance. That’s not a negotiation, that’s a competition.

We do refer to the other companies in our industry as our ‘competition’ but that doesn’t mean that we crush them in every circumstance… particularly if that doesn’t serve our customers. Personally, we probably negotiate 10-20 times a day (even more if you have children or employees).

You may be unaware of your approach to negotiation.  A good start is to pay attention to your words, attitude and mind set going in and coming out of negotiations for one whole day. Take some notes.

Here are a few steps to help you become a more aware negotiator.

1) Physically stand or sit next to the person. This sends an important signal that you are open and ‘on the same side.’ Does this work when you are disciplining? Only if it’s really a negotiation. By the way, pay attention to body language, your own and the other person’s.

2) Actively listen to the other person. Repeat back what they are saying so they know they are being heard.

3) Be sure to explain the why something needs to happen. While this isn’t always possible, it is really important for buy in and builds trust.

4) It’s not personal. The best negotiations keep the ‘personal’ out of it.

5) What’s the path forward?  Are there alternatives in case of contingencies? These small steps build trust.

It can be fun to learn new skills.. and become more effective. Dig in and create that win/win.

Photo credit: Winning Together   dcJohn

Judgement is Easy, Integrity is Hard

This week I had the privilege of meeting a woman who has battled the forces of judgment and sadness with grace. She also has translated the difficulties of her life into beautiful art. The journey of integrity is often a very lonely road. Principles are expensive;  financially, psychologically and physically.

During our conversation, I was reminded how easy it is to judge others. Often, we’re not conscious of our negative feelings; we don’t deliberately set out to be judgmental or cruel. It’s just that these OTHER people…

– look different from us – It’s no longer just someone’s skin color – now we judge them because they wear a hijab or a turban

– don’t share our ‘values’ or religion. Religions are full of judgements. If someone ‘shares’ our religion we automatically assume they are ok. But the mafia killed people regularly and were ‘good’ Catholics. Just because someone is a different religion than yours, doesn’t automatically make them good or bad. People need to be judged on the content of their character. Hmm… where did we hear that before?

– have different life or work experiences. Maybe they worked only in start-ups or only in one company. Does this make their opinion or their input any less worthy?

It’s much easier to think that these ‘strange’ people are wrong or misguided than try to understand where they are coming from.

Even worse, these ‘different people’ threaten the safety of our ‘little world.’

As the world becomes more connected and collaboration becomes the norm for innovation and customer management (along with most other business functions) we need to closely examine our definition of who’s okay in the world. And it begins with our our private lives. Teach your children well – they learn by what you do, but they are tremendously affected by what you say.

I recommend that we actively seek out diversity in our friends and colleagues. Have lunch with someone who is 30 years your junior/senior. Seek out the people at your organization who are different. Talk to them, learn about what’s important to them. You will be richer for the effort and your organization will reap the benefits for years to come.

Photo credit : Joan of Arc

Don’t Follow Your Passion and Other Good Advice

Career advice 101… follow your passion. Blah, blah, blah. My passion changes and what’s more.. there’s not much money in my passion for eating chocolate. So I am pleased to introduce you to Cal Newport’s new book, So Good They Can’t Ignore You. Cal is very smart young man who at the start of his career had some terrific choices.. MIT doctoral program or a job at Microsoft. He’s not really like the rest of us, so why should we listen to him?

Because he has some very good advice...

— #1 Don’t follow your passion

— #2 Be so good they can’t ignore you

— #3 Turn down that promotion

Counter-intuitive? yup? Against conventional wisdom? yes again. So what are we mere mortals to do? While I don’t agree with everything Cal writes, I especially like his… “be so good they can’t ignore you” advice. He focuses on having special skills but I would like to expand this idea. Be really good at what you do. I mean really good. Be a leader in your chosen field. Write blog posts, become a speaker, share information on LinkedIn.

But on top of that, be a person who is trusted and who cares about others. This is the secret sauce to a happy life. Passions change and skills need to be constantly updated, but a person who can gain quickly earn the trust of those around them is invaluable. Be genuine, be kind and find way to be of service.

Photo credit: WalterColley.com Banners from Rochester, NY East End Business District (Philipson Group)

What Is The Stupidest Thing That Could Possibly Work?

There’s that line from the movie Forest Gump… “stupid is as stupid does” … well, there’s stupid and then there’s bravely awesome. Clay Shirky, one of my favorite authors, says…

“My motto for 2013, adapted from Agile Programming precepts = What Is The Stupidest Thing That Could Possibly Work?”

One of the reasons we keep doing the same thing over and over and don’t innovate… is that we surround ourselves with people just like ourselves. It’s human nature. And if someone sounds different or has goofy ideas or looks different; we forget to value the difference. We discount them based on whatever. The goal of diversity is to OPEN up the pool of ideas and thoughts. Recent research shows that large corporations that have women board members are more profitable than those that don’t. This only tells part of the story.

Real innovation must come from change and change takes courage. We’d all still be hitting each other with clubs if there weren’t some of us willing to create tools to go get food.

The more we think about things and try to ‘figure it all out,” the less likely we are to take the risk. The most successful parts of my life.. traveling, new jobs, speaking in front of large groups, etc. all came to me because I didn’t think about what might happen. I just did it.

We don’t have to engage in foolish risks without considering how to mitigate them, but letting “risks stop us from doing new things” is the safe road and on the ‘safe road’ only the guy with the biggest club will survive and I’m not having that.

Photo credit: Projectile Placement skycaptaintwo

5 Things to Stop Doing – Right Now!

Are you ready to get on with the challenges that you face in your life? Your mouth says yes but your attitude and body language are saying no.

Now let me give you and me credit… we are doing a lot of hard stuff, everyday. Good for us. However, we live better than 95% of the people on the planet so let’s get to the heart of the matter. We’re soft.

If we’re soft… then we’re lousy role models and unimaginative workers/parents/business people/community leaders.

So pick one… any one of these and commit to stop doing it— even just for one day… today.

1) Blaming — what difference does it make who’s fault it is? What are you going to do about it? Sticky wicket relationship? I gotta do my part. Change my attitude. I’m not right. Who cares?

2) Judging – focus on yourself. Let others do what they need to. Live and let live.

3) Tilting at Windmills – when I get all upset over something I can’t change… it slowly dawns on me that I am wasting precious energy. I could be laughing. What the heck?

4) Defending – try listening instead.

5) Being afraid. What’s the worst that can happen? I can tell you that many people have lived through MUCH worse. You can do.

Here’s a good article on 10 things to stop doing. I believe in you.

Photo credit: broken glasses 1   Photographer jfg

How Fair is Your Pay? 5 Steps to Getting Your Share

This pretty picture has nothing to do with fair pay… but it is an inspiring, life affirming photo. I want to inspire you to make sure you get what you want from your life. Not tomorrow, not next week, not next year. Today. It is, after all, all we have.

When I read this article about Whole Foods compensation structure — I was amazed and wondered why more companies don’t follow suit. Here’s the bottom line:

“Execs can’t earn more than 19 times the company average, the co-founder gets $1 a year, and non-execs get 93% of company stock options. The result is 7% turnover — among the lowest in the industry. Says co-CEO Walter Robb: ‘[We] really make love to the company values.’” I would say they put their money where their mouth is. Most companies SAY that employees are their most valuable asset but how do they demonstrate it?

Not all of us can work for Whole Foods so what can we do?

1) Mean what we say and say what we mean. Be a person of integrity. You will never regret it.

2) Keep your skills current. When you do that, you give yourself the opportunity to change… jobs, organizations, fields, etc.

3) Pay it forward. The more aware you are of helping others achieve their goals, the better.

4) Be nice. Organizations look to hire people who can get along. Being nice never hurt anyone’s career. Don’t be a doormat but the most successful people I know are generally described by others as ‘one of the nicest people I have ever met.”

5) Work for yourself. You don’t always make the most money this way… but you’ll make sure you get your fair share!

Checkout these online salary resources:

My favorite is Glassdoor.com where employees post the real skinny on salary, work and culture. Also try salaryexpert.com, jobstar.org (links to over 300 professional salary surveys) and salary.com.  It’s not all about money… but getting comparative data can give you strength in negotiating. By the way, if you don’t ask for the money you deserve… you’ll probably never get it.

Photo credit: mmtzjr69out  Double Bubble Rainbow