Posts tagged: attitude

Why We Work?

Palmer, Alfred T.,, photographer.</p><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>Operating a hand drill at North American Aviation, Inc., [a] woman is working in the control surface department assembling a section of the leading edge for the horizontal stabilizer of a plane, Inglewood, Calif....

The Buddhist point of view is that work has 3 purposes, to:

  1. give a man a chance to utilize and develop his faculties
  2. enable him to overcome his ego-centeredness by joining with other people in a common task
  3. bring forth needed goods and services

To simplify, we work to:

  1. Develop our unique skills (Do you know what these are? Do you work to develop them?)
  2. Think about other people (get over ourselves) (Many people say they do but… WOW it’s still all about them.)
  3. Make/provide stuff of value to others  (This one is the easiest)
  4. There is an obvious #4. The reason most of us would say we work… to make money to live.

Just for today, When you are working, how about thinking about 1-2 instead of 3-4?  In the photo, the woman probably had never used a drill before the war. Then suddenly, she had to become proficient for a greater good. What ways does your work help you develop your unique gifts and help others instead of yourself?

Photo credit: Operating a Hand Drill   Library of Congress

Life and Death as a Frog

On our rainforest block we have many litoria infrafrenata frogs.  Boy are they loud during the monsoon!

When we think about survival of the fittest, we may not get inspiration from frogs. I’m hoping to change that.

When I mow the lawn, creatures run when they hear the lawn mower coming.  Rabbits, butterflies, large bugs; the vibration and noise from the mower send them scurrying. But I notice that the frogs are not that swift.

I don’t see them in the tall grass but, in theory, they ought to see, hear and feel the mower. And yet, I have run over two frogs in the past two weeks. No matter how careful I am; these frogs do not seem to get the message. In fairness, frogs have limited brain power/access to resources but we don’t. We have access to lots of resources. Do we pay attention?

The frog dilemma got me thinking about times in my life when I saw the warning signs, felt the warning signs and HEARD the warning signs and yet, I still didn’t scurry (read: change my behavior). Instead I carried on about how unfair it was, how upset I was, why did things have to change, etc.

Some of this is a completely normal part of loss and grieving. (see Kubler-Ross 5 stages of grief) Things are changing at home, at work, my kids are growing up, my company is downsizing, I’m getting older and so we need time to process these changes and adapt. I’m not talking about this.

I’m talking about the little frog or me, when I hear the roar of the mower engine, I smell the cut grass, I feel the earth shake as the mower passes by and I still don’t do anything. I am stuck.

Truth is, that mower has run me over a few times. I could have gotten out of the way, but I didn’t. When was the last time you heard the mower coming and didn’t ‘get out of the way?” I know it’s hard. We all procrastinate. Maybe this time, I’ll scurry a little, then rest, then scurry a little more and hope I avoid the blades.

Photo credit: White Lipped Green Tree Frog   maggie p 

Are You Cool?

What makes someone cool?

It depends on many things: our stage of life, our interests, etc. For me,  Steve McQueen (the actor in the photo) was Mr. Cool. Fast cars (Bullitt), motorcycles, independent, handsome, tough.

I think that cool relates to 3 things:

  1. Self-awareness – how well do I know myself, my shortcomings and strengths. This takes real effort for most of us. It’s easier just to be oblivious.
  2. Self- asssuredness – this isn’t related to ego, it’s related to believing in our selves long after it’s reasonable (multiple failures!)
  3. Self-compassion – do I know how to make amends to those I hurt and by extension, do I forgive myself when I make a mistake?

These 3 attributes help us lead, follow, be resilient, learn, grow, change and adapt – they help me to be independent. I like to be independent. More importantly and perhaps counter-intuitively, it make more compassionate towards others.

I think people who accept themselves, are cool. I think people who don’t think they’re cool, are often, cool. People who understand that what makes them different from everyone else, cool.

One last thing, I also think accepting responsibility is cool. When I do something that doesn’t reflect well on myself, I hate to admit it. I learned, through much pain, that it’s better to just own it. As quickly as I can. That’s one thing that makes me cool.

Cool can be about they way someone dresses or talks… but really, it’s much more about their attitude; towards themselves and by extension, towards others.

So my friend, what makes someone cool in your eyes?

Photo Credit: Steve McQueen  Barbour

Building Your Business

When I say your ‘business’ I mean whether you HAVE a business or whether you ARE the business. Today, being prepared for changes is what required.

I work with several entrepreneurs and meet with new ones regularly. It is such a joy because each one is excited about their business. They have energy and a hunger to learn and grow. It is infectious and wonderful.

Many of them, like me, have had plenty of ups and downs. In fact, most of them will experience more downturns that they believe they can stand! What separates a successful ‘business owners’ from the unsuccessful, is flexibility. The ability to pivot.

So how do each of us, whether we starting a business, reinventing ourselves or invigorating our career, take the “just do it” train?

Ideas are easy to come by, in fact, very easy. What’s not easy is making that idea into a business (or career) that works. Here are some rules for navigating the terrain:

  1. Build skills. In my corporate years, I looked for assignments that would allow me to learn new, specific skills.
  2. Try on different roles. Find ways to test out various roles, tasks, assignments. Volunteer, talk to your boss, be specific about what you want.
  3. Fail fast. This one sounds the worst. Most of us don’t want to ‘fail’ at all. What we don’t realize is that we learn the most from our failures. It is what propels us to do new and better. It is what helps us learn quickly and meaningfully.

Are  you excited about your work? Do you wake up ready to learn? If not, perhaps it’s time to pivot.

Photo Credit: Empowering Startup 

Boredom: Wishful or Wasteful?

so tired. need 2 go 2 bed in anticipation of 80 mi ride 2morrow then date w new boytoy...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Bought $500 of bike gear today! mostly bike shorts and stuff. Also, went swimming for first time in about 2 months. </p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>Took it easy, swan really slow and then...

“We are supposed to be bored. It is a part of life. Learn to put up with it…”  Jack Kerouac

I grew up quickly, in a family of alcoholics. This meant that when other kids were playing or having ‘summer’, I was worrying about food, safety, ‘taking care of other people’.

It is with great pleasure that I report that I am currently exploring the joy of boredom. The “not doing”, the “not having to do”, the “that can wait until later.” I may appear to be sitting around, but I am not doing nothing. My brain is working through ideas. It’s the quiet that we allow ourselves in boredom that feeds our creativity.

Now you might disagree. “Boredom is a sign of weakness.”  “There are so many wonderful things to explore.”

Whichever side you’re on; take a minute to “not do” when you have the chance. Here’s a quiz:

The reason people often have good ideas in the shower is:

  1. the water
  2. the soap
  3. the quiet
  4. all of the above

If we want to improve our problem solving ability and creativity, maybe we ought to sit around more and ‘think’ less.

Photo Credit: Day 151   SuperFantastic

Black & White & You All Over

Some people say that the world is falling apart. Some say it’s never been better.

What do you say?

No really, what do you say? Everyday… do you reflect the “getting better” or the “falling apart”? The truth often shows itself in subtle ways.

Yesterday I was at the dog park. I asked one of the people I often see there, what she’d been up to? She said she’d been on vacation at a nearby lake . I said, “Well you had beautiful weather.”  She replied, “Well, it was a little chilly somedays, not as hot as we wanted.”

Really, I thought? You got to go on vacation. and. you. say. that?

We live in a world of labels. Your politics are this, mine are that. Your  religion is this, mine is that (or worse, I don’t have one). You come from this country, I come from that.

Information overload has made it easier to be polarized. What can we do? Sometimes it’s in our nature to be a negative Nelly. If you’re a curmudgeon then fine; you’re off the hook. But I’ll bet you’re not. I’ll bet you want to be happier.

Just for today, try not to think in black and white. Try the grey. Maybe the person who cut you off in traffic has a sick child. Maybe the person at work who drives you crazy is lonely. You don’t have fix any of these things;  just adjust your attitude.

If you think, I could never be a democrat, a catholic, a republican, a Jew and on and on… Think about why not. The truth is, we are more alike than different. Let their peace on earth and let it begin with me.

Photo credit:  Flying Twigs

 

Anything Worthwhile Will Take a Long Time

We live in a hurry-up world so I think it’s discouraging for many of us that the world is not a ‘better’ place.  We feel helpless when we don’t know what to do to fix things.  This is a reflection of how much information we have about the 7 BILLION people who live on our planet. 100 years ago, we knew a lot about our block but not that much about the next city, state or country. Positive change requires effort and patience. To highlight this, think about; “Presence is far more intricate and rewarding … than productivity.” We focus a lot on productivity (I’m all for that) … I’m suggesting we spend time thinking about how we present ourselves in the world.

The reality is we may be limited in our ability to change things quickly, but there are things we can do:

  1. improve our personal awareness (strengths,weaknesses)
  2. establish a personal presence that truly reflects our values and unique perspective (without being rigid)
  3. have faith in ourselves
  4. take small steps towards improving the world – get involved in something!
  5. listen more, talk less
  6. be kind

For today, maybe you could read something that takes some effort and reach out to someone who needs support. Other than being present for those you love, do what you are called to do today. If you’re not sure, you might just need to be quiet and be patient. Two things we are short on in this hurry-up world.

I found the quote in the picture in an article titled,  7 Life Long Learnings from 7 Years of Brain Picking. Check out Brain Pickings.

Do you know Debbie Millman? She’s a writer, educator, artist, brand consultant and host of a radio/podcast show Design Matters. Check her out too.

photo credit: Israel Smith

You’re A Genius … In Your Own Way

File:Albert Einstein Head.jpg

Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package...” Anonymous

Albert Einstein (the inventor of the bed head hairdo) is a recognized worldwide as a genius. Reading through his life story, you will see that he was pretty “flaky.” But in his field, there was no one more advanced. Did he know he was a genius? Did he fret about all the things he couldn’t do?

Each of us is a bit like him. It’s always easier to see the ‘spark of genius’ in others. He’s such a leader, she’s so athletic, he’s a great cook, etc.

In the Nine Different Types of Intelligence, I see myself in a couple of categories. I look forward to using this list to remind myself of ‘where I shine.’

Some are better known:

  • Logical//Mathematical – Beep… I missed this train although I do pride myself on my common sense. Math.. not so much.
  • Spatial – Yeah, you know, people who can see things in pictures when the rest of us are standing there going huh?
  • Linguistic – Ok, now we’re talking… cross word puzzles, writing, reading… yeah, I finally get one!
  • Bodily-Kinesthetic – Also known as athletic, you know that person… they are graceful on land, on sea, in the air. (Nope not me)
  • Musical – I think this is the most interesting one because music is cultural. What sounds like music to Tibetan or Japanese might sound odd to Western ears. I think this one deserves wide application. (I know a lot of song lyrics… does that count?)

Here are a few less common ones that I like:

  • Naturalistic – people who connect with animals… my daughter Jenna is one of those people. Animals, any animal, gravitate to her like she’s bacon.
  • Interpersonal – people who ‘get’ other people… and can sense the mood and temperament of others and adjust.

Here are some I just made up (but are probably on other lists):

  • Mechanical – yeah, I missed this train
  • Geo-spatial – my gyroscope is and always has been broken
  • Cooking/gardening- this might sound funny and maybe it’s baked into one of these others but don’t you know someone who just does these things naturally and always has? -This doesn’t mean gourmet or fancy. It’s just that they shine.
  • Color – My brother is a color expert.

I’m sure the list could go on and on. My point is that’s not important which of these you have, only that you recognize which ones and celebrate them, Just for today, pick one, even if you’re not 100% sure you’re a genius in it, and praise yourself.

False modesty serves no one. Enjoy your gifts, whether society appreciates them or not. They are what make you, you. The world needs you just the way you are.

Photo credit: Albert Einstein

Where Are You Today: In the Future or the Past?

http://www.carolinebakker.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/dalai-lama-humanity-surprise-1024x512.jpg

My hope is that each of us takes a minute every day to breathe in and out a few times. Today is all we have.

I Don’t Know You, Why Should I Help You?

Why do these people look happy? They look like they’re doing the dreaded “networking.”  I’ve learned to appreciate the power of networking, but I still don’t like it.

The interviewer or connection you need something from, won’t appreciate that cold call. So, unless you are super charismatic, you will need practice at ferreting out a way to make yourself valuable to others, because at least 50% (probably much higher) get their job from a referral.

Try using these tools to help build your value to others:

1) LinkedIn – If you have a few hundred connections, be sure to search the contact’s name there. You might be pleasantly surprised the connections you share. If you don’t have a few hundred connections… you are missing a big opportunity to help others and get help when you need it. There are eBooks, online classes and many other ways to learn how to use the single best tool for business connections. I work to a) always be building my connections, b) contribute to the overall beneficial information there. Then when you need it; it will be there for you.

2) Say thank you. Often. Be grateful. Everyday.

People like to be around happy, confident, interesting people. If you’re in a difficult place. Fake it ’til you make it.

3) The Go-Giver is a wonderful little book that helps inspire us to give to get. Not sure what to give, how to give, when to give? Try this book or find a podcast or YouTube video that helps you learn how to give (what comes easily to you) to those who can use it.

Why should I help you? Make that answer a no-brainer.

Photo credit: TelecomHub Shashi