Posts tagged: inspiration

Uncovering Hope

This is an area road at Dripping Springs Lake in Okmulgee, Oklahoma. I love to go here, it is always quiet and many times there are deer.

“In three words, I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” Robert Frost

Feeling Lost?

Remember you belong here. No matter what anyone says, does, or thinks. You belong here and you are important. You see the world in a special way. The way only you and your genes and experiences can. No one else can see it exactly the way you do.

Hope is In There Somewhere

You just need to uncover it. It gets covered up by daily ‘stuff’. It’s up to us to make sure we shed the covers often.

And Now for Something Completely Different

It doesn’t take much, but small steps, changes, actions… can make a difference. I stopped watching the ‘regular’ news many years ago. Why? Because all I could see was ‘the bad.’ The things that were going wrong, crime, difficulties, sadness, disasters. I don’t ignore what’s going on in the world, but I don’t subject myself to daily “hope-bashing” either. I read news from multiple sources, as close to the source as possible.

Here are some of the things that I have tried:

  • Read positive (but real) sources like: Upworthy   or  One Good Thing
  • Laugh more (have you tried baby animals on YouTube?)
  • Go outside, even for 10 minutes
  • When you’re out there, listen for the sound of birds, touch a tree, stop and look at the flowers
  • Get a little more exercise – stand instead of sit, do wall push ups, stretch a little
  • Put on music that makes you happy, you know which songs work
  • Call someone – think about someone who might need a lift. Call and say hi
  • Color – buy some crayons or colored pencils – doodle around, don’t worry if it looks like anything or if it’s ‘good’. Just have fun.
  • Take a 5 minute vacation. Close your eyes and imagine you are somewhere relaxing. For me, it’s the beach. I imagine I am at the ocean, the smell of the salt water, the sand between my toes, the sound of the waves. Pick your spot and go there.

You’re Worth It

Do these things for yourself. Breathe. Take 5 deep breaths in a row. Do that a few times a day. Hug yourself and remember, the world needs you, just the way you are.

Photo credit: Winding Road     Free Wine

Watching the World Spin

Today Is All We Have

I was walking the other day and I happened to look up at the clouds. I noticed, for the first time in a long time, that the clouds were moving… well the clouds weren’t moving, the earth was! Such a simple thing, it happens every minute, of every day… the world spins.  Yet, I never notice it.

Maybe it’s because it makes me feel small…. it reminds me that I am but a speck in the grand scheme of the universe. Maybe it’s because I have the arrogance of thinking that just because I am alive, that the world will continue forever, without any thought or work on my part.

What’s a Human To Do?

There’s no obligation to do anything. The world will keep spinning whether I pay attention or not. So what’s in it for me if I decide to pay attention? Well, I get to:

  • breathe in the wonder that is our planet (and see if there’s something I can do, today, to maintain it’s beauty)
  • take a moment to reflect on my part in the universe (am I a force for good and caring? if yes, how do I make sure that I do that… every day)
  • stop and appreciate the ‘amazingness’ of my body and brain (seeing, smelling, hearing, moving, tasting… do I take any of these for granted?)

Take a minute, step outside, look up… notice the world spinning and celebrate the power of your humanity.

Photo credit: It goes on… and on

The Case For Joy

There Is No Joy Without Gratitude - Joy Quotes

What Happened to Joy?

I take my dog places and she is such a bundle of happiness and excitement that many people comment on how much she loves life. She bounces up and down, licks hands, and is basically ready to play at any moment. People are genuinely entranced by her sense of joy. I’ve noticed that each person who sees her, also seems almost wistful when they look at her, or they may even say something like…” I wish I was that happy” or “It must be great to be that happy.”Whatever happened to our sense of  ‘joy?’ By definition joy is:

jubilation, triumph, exultation, rejoicing, happiness, glee, exhilaration, exuberance, elation, euphoria, bliss, ecstasy, rapture

When was the last time you felt exhilarated? exuberant? blissful? What do you think happens to our sense of feeling joyful?

Too Busy to Be Joyful?

I have no illusions that the ‘good old days’, were all that good or joyful. Just because things were simpler, does not mean that they were more joyful. However, we have worked hard to create more ‘leisure’ time and one would hope that in that time, we’d find our way back to a little elation or glee.

I wonder if it has to do with focus? If we focus on being like my dog, present in the moment… expecting good but simple things, the sunshine or the rain, the ability to smile at one another, getting or giving a hug. What if we just stopped a few times a day and looked for something to feel joyful about?

Just for Today

Follow your bliss, get out of the hallway, look for the good, appreciate the moment. Let me know how it goes.

Image result for follow your bliss

Image Credit: Joy Quotes

Follow your bliss

What’s the Question?

I Once Was Lost

Do you feel lost sometimes? Truthfully, I’ve spent most of life feeling ‘other.’ I like how Anne Lamott describes it:

“There are times in our lives — scary, unsettling times — when we know that we need help or answers but we’re not sure what kind, or even what the problem or question is. We look and look, tearing apart our lives like we’re searching for car keys in our couch, and we come up empty-handed.”

Can you relate? Are you searching through your life looking for “the” answer? I don’t know much, but I know one thing… there isn’t an answer. There may not even be clarity of the question. When I’m lost, I try to do the opposite of searching the couch cushions. I try to clear my mind and look for inspiration, not answers.

But Now I’m Found

Rather than “advice, approval, advantage, safety, or relief from pain” which is what I think I want…I look for peace of mind. What can I do, in this moment, that will bring me peace. I don’t try to dissect all the parts, pieces and people. I don’t try to understand motivations, mine or anyone else’s. I stop seeking and try to be.

Lamott continues, “Kindness toward others and radical kindness to ourselves buy us a shot at a warm and generous heart, which is the greatest prize of all.”

For today, the question is, what can I do, to have peace of mind, right now?

Photo credit: Question Mark Squircle

Short Skirts and Bra Straps

bra straps showing fashion - Google-Suche

Acceptable Dress

I was waiting in line at the grocery store the other day and the 2 women in front of me were wearing shirts with bra straps showing. I was thinking, at what point in the last few years did it become “acceptable” to show your bra straps? I’m old so I remember the days when showing a bra strap was beyond tacky… it was a signal that you were not a “lady”.

But now… these 2 middle-aged women were not only showing their straps… they were at the grocery store where everyone could see them! It made me stop and think about how ideas (as well as fashion) change and become ‘socially acceptable.’

Preconceived Notions vs. Independent Thinking

The idea of whether bra straps show or not is, of course, relatively meaningless. But I hope you see that the same social norm that said, in the 1970’s, that short skirts were ‘unacceptable’ and rebellious, now accepts both short skirts and showing bra straps.

Image result for 1970's short skirts

If we take this idea of what is socially acceptable to broader ideas… it can be useful to monitor our own thinking. What is one idea that you have, that is outdated? or unhelpful? or that everyone around you thinks is okay but you feel is wrong? or that makes you uncomfortable? Are there ideas or norms that you rub you the wrong way? Sometimes we don’t even realize it until we stop and really think about it. The other complicating factor is, how do we acknowledge our own position (that’s different from many others around us), without being judgemental of others?

Here’s My Broader Idea: We’re In This Together

I believe that I have an obligation to give back to the world in tangible ways. That I have a responsibility to:

  • find people to help in a way that fits with what I have to give
  • focus on being grateful for all the gifts I have
  • be aware of the needs of those around me
  • take steps every day to be present for everyone I meet

What’s that got to do with bra straps? I don’t know. Somewhere in my strange brain they’re connected. I have always been someone who doesn’t care much for what other people think. And finding my own way in the world is hard because it’s always easier to follow the crowd. But I’m not good at that. I hope this gives you a chance to stop for a minute and think about… your broader idea. I hope you have the courage and strength to follow through. I believe in you.

Photo credit: bra straps showing    70’s short skirts

 

A Walk Before Breakfast

We had a rare rain the other day in So. Cal. Yoshi and I were walking through the park and he went into this puddle. I snapped the pic quickly.

Comfort

Everyday, I test to see how comfortable I am. Seems kind of odd right? I’m human, of course I am looking for comfort. But being fully human means going beyond your own comfort, to do things we may not want to do… for all kinds of reasons. Some of us wait until we are pushed into the discomfort zone, for example, we get an illness that requires us change our diet or medications. We don’t like it, but we do it because we have to.

Discomfort

What if we decided that, everyday, we are going to do something we are not comfortable with, just for practice. I don’t mean at work. That doesn’t count. Each of us are expected to be outside our comfort zone at work.  (It’s often the reason we get paid.) I mean doing the exact thing you hate. Like taking a walk before breakfast. Listen, I love breakfast, it’s my favorite meal and I look forward to it everyday. So the idea of going for a walk, before I do what I want? Sounds stupid. Yet, I do it every day. Here’s why. I knew that I needed to build exercise into my life. Not the, oh I’m going to the gym for 4 months, then I stop, exercise. The kind that I would do day in and day out. So I got a dog that needs to walk, every. day. Regardless of the weather. Regardless of my mood. There are many days when I don’t feel like going out. Too bad. We gotta go. And the last thing I want to do is go for a walk, before my favorite meal of the day. Right?

Change

Getting a dog is a pretty drastic way to get “uncomfortable.”  So what can you do to be, a little less comfortable, every day.

  1. Read something challenging – either to your beliefs or your intellect. This will take work because most of us have a set of sources we read. Certain news sources, authors, etc. We talk to people who agree with us. Find one source of discomfort and spend 5 minutes a day.
  2. Don’t complain – Complaining seems to be a regular way of life. There’s a difference between relaying information and complaining. You know the difference, especially when you are on the receiving end of listening to someone else. One is stating the facts, the other is laced with “poor me” and how could this happen to me? Catch yourself before you complain. Just. don’t. do. it.
  3. Do something for someone else that they don’t expect – This will also take work. It will require you to think about someone else long enough to imagine what they would like. I don’t mean making your kid’s lunch or your spouse’s dinner. I mean something unexpected. Something that actually takes effort on your part.

Like all habits, they take energy and focus to cultivate. But when I’ve managed to make it part of my mindset, it’s like… walking before breakfast.

Photo Credit: Reflection of Wee Westie

Belonging

Rick Medina, right, a Yaqui Apache whose tribe is centered in Arizona, and his son, Miles Medina. They were among the participants at a Colorado Springs Native American Inter Tribal Powwow and festival in that central Colorado city

Where Do I Belong?

Belonging… as humans, we have an innate desire to belong, to be a part of something. And yet many of us don’t like to be part of a group. For whatever reason: the need for independence, the fear of rejection.. we find it difficult to assimilate.

There are origin stories… stories of our family, our town, our country, our history, etc. that remind us that we are part of something larger than ourselves, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not. Some of those stories are happy and make us proud. Some are shocking, sad and even brutal. Each of us probably has a little of each in our background.

How Do We Belong?

If you stop for a minute and think about the idea of where (and to whom) you belong, you may think of it in a few different ways. Family may the first thing you think of. But if you have a family story like mine, the story may be filled with sadness, so I need to find another way to feel like I belong.

Religion may be another way that we can feel that belong. We identify ourselves as a Christian or a Jew, a Muslim or a Sikh. Even being an atheist is a way to belong to a group that sees the world through the same lens.

Race is an important way that we find identity. Whether we are aware of it or not, it shapes our daily life.

Location can be one of the least understood and respected form of belonging. There are national and local identities. In many places in the world, the village where a person is born defines a great deal about their sense of belonging. Here in the US, with our ability to (relatively) easily relocate, we take for granted the ability to be American and keep that identity regardless of where, in the country, we live. Think about your “place/location.” I moved over 20 times before I was 22.

We Belong to Each Other

It’s important to understand how we define ourselves so that we can clearly see ourselves in relation to others. Regardless of our beliefs, country, skin color… we are all one, human. We love our children, we want to work and have meaning in our lives. Think about the things that make you feel a part of something and understand how that either joins or separates you from others. Let’s talk about this more in the future.

 

Image credit: Rick Medina, Yaqui Apache & son  Carol Highsmith (via the Library of Congress)

Holidays, Vacations, Life as We Know It

Holidays and Vacations

I took a vacation from the blog. Not on purpose, it just happened. I’ve been writing this blog off and on since 2008. So when one week turned into two turned into six… I realized that in addition to I celebrating the holidays, I was also taking a vacation; from my regular life, my regular responsibilities, my old self. As I celebrated a ‘speed limit’ birthday this month, I realized that there are all kinds of vacations. This particular vacation was very important to me.

Life As We know It

Every once in a while, I hope that you are able to take that same kind of vacation. It’s not like Disneyland, the beach or the mountains. It is the kind that allows us to look up at the clouds and take a long look at how we’re living. This isn’t easy. Who wants to question all the ways and reasons for the choices we’ve made? No one. And yet the importance of looking at our life – straight into it’s face – is important. Because there’s a big difference between living and surviving. If you choose to survive, because it’s easier… I understand. If you choose to live, even though it’s harder, much harder… I understand. You have my blessings to do either. It’s your life.

Photo credit: Cumulus Blue  Scott Robinson

If I’m Talking, I’m Not Learning

Image result for it's all about me it has nothing to do with me

“But there ain’t no point in talking when there’s nobody listening…” Rod Stewart

Listening as Learning

I need to remind myself that learning to listen to others is one of the keys to a happy life. It’s a skill I have never ‘mastered’ and never will. The act of making the effort to learn to improve my ability to listen openly, is worthwhile.

The power of listening to the people we love is boundless. If we are able to listen without judging or thinking about what we’re going to say… we give a priceless and rare gift. It takes intention, practice and self-discipline. If that sounds like a lot of work, you’re right, it is.

When we stop talking, stop telling our side of the story, reminding people of how smart we are, then we actually can learn; about other people, about their world, their problems and their joys.

But I Don’t Like What They’re Saying!

Part of the reason we don’t listen is that we don’t want to hear others because we don’t agree with their opinion or point of view. If I disagree with someone, why would I want listen to them? They’re wrong! This is a natural reaction, an emotional reaction, a dangerous reaction.

Modern living and the short news cycle, reinforce that those who “talk”, especially on television or on social media… have influence. We listen only to those people who reinforce our current thinking or point of view. When this happens, it strengthens the negative ‘we’ vs. ‘them’ thinking. We are called sheep by politicians and we don’t prove them wrong, because no matter what, we follow along. We avoid listening and thinking for ourselves because it’s easier.

Getting Started

First, I have to admit that I’m not right. My point of view isn’t correct.  Whether the person is someone in my house or my neighborhood or where I work, each person has a right to the way they feel. I don’t have to agree with them, but if I can honestly listen to them, I might learn what they are afraid of, what motivates them; not what separates us but what binds us together.

If you are sincere in your desire to learn to listen better, here are some resources:

TED Talk –  5 Ways to Listen Better

Listening Skills- The 10 Principles of Listening

Image credit: Quote Fancy

The Case for Doing Nothing

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Plans for the Weekend?

When someone asks me what my plans are for the weekend, I often answer.. nothing. In fact, my goal is to have nothing to do. My other answer is… “my goal is to do less, and then do less than that.”

The Cult of Productivity

If this doesn’t make sense to you, I understand. We live in a world where doing is more important that being.

“Ours is a culture that measures our worth as human beings by our efficiency, our earnings, our ability to perform this or that. The cult of productivity has its place, but worshipping at its altar daily robs us of the very capacity for joy and wonder that makes life worth living.” Brain Pickings Newsletter

The Case for Stillness

Are you a human being or a human “doing?” Learning to just be took practice for me.

We each have so many gifts; a unique way of looking at the world. We need that. We need you to be you. If all we do is, well… do…then we don’t take the time to know ourselves. To hear our own voice. To cultivate our own thoughts, to pay attention to our feelings, to remember what is important.

For today, can you stop doing so much? Can you sit in a chair and look out the window? Can you take a 5 minute walk? Can you step outside and look at the trees and the birds? Try it and let me know how it goes.

Image Credit: To Do List