Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf, Sheep, Wolf, Sheep?

Is social media good or evil? A boon to democracy or a complete invasion of our privacy? I can give you excellent examples of each.

Everyday, people tell me how wonderful/stupid Facebook and Twitter are. What’s interesting is that the people with the least knowledge are the ones with the strongest opinions. I ask my friends, colleagues, students, clients and anyone else who will listen to:

• Understand that social media is about building relationships (just like in real life)
• Know that if you act like an idiot (or a bigot or company that doesn’t care), people will find out about it much faster than ever before

People ask me if they should:

• Connect to people they don’t know on Linked In
• Combine their personal and professional Facebook accounts
• Say yes to the offer to get 2,000 twitter followers in 3 days

Let’s see. In real life would you invite 2,000 strangers to your house for coffee? Probably not. Would you invite everyone from your office to your house for a barbeque? Hmm, no. So why would you do any of the above? Twitter isn’t stupid if you follow smart people. Facebook can be a wonderful way to connect to people you care about.

If you follow the simple idea that you are looking to build trust, then the decisions about who to follow, friend, fan, like, or connect to becomes clearer.

But let’s face it. Stupid is as stupid does. If you act like the people in the stories below, things probably will turn out badly for you and you know what… you deserve it.

Evesham Township PA posting photos of suspects on their Facebook page.

Woman with an Order of Protection gets help when “friended” on Facebook.

Company shows it’s incredible insensitivity and loses (thank goodness).

Never Judge a Book By It’s Cover… The #1 Networking Rule

Here’s a cool little video that describes why there’s no place for snobbery in networking.

In case you don’t have a chance to watch it, the person tells the story of a pink pantsuited, bracelet-jangling big haired blond who comes into a networking room where the marketing executive looks down on her… only to find out that she is personal friends with the one contact he cares about. Hmmm…

In some measure though, we’re all guilty of judging others. Some of that is human nature and we need to fight that every day of our lives. In our career, we need to make sure we have an open mind about how we can help others and how others can help us.

I have heard it over and over again from unemployed people when I suggest they talk to their neighbors. I hear, “they don’t know anyone” or “I’m embarrassed for them to know I’m still out of work” and other lame excuses. Get over it.

Maybe you can help your neighbor. Did you ever consider that? If you tackle networking like it’s a job, where the best scenario is a win/win and the worst scenario is that VERY LITTLE effort is put forth AND the results are lousy. No one said finding a new job is easy whether you currently have a job or not.

If you’re a bit stuck in your search;  find someone else to help. If you’re currently employed; find someone else to help. Choose wisely but help them; with a contact, a few hours of volunteer time, an idea or the best gift ever, listening.

Unemployed Are Not Being Considered for Some Open Positions – #Fail

A disturbing trend in recruiting involves employers not even considering the resume of someone who is unemployed. Here’s the text from a recent job ad:

“Will not consider/review anyone’s resume who is NOT currently employed — regardless of the  reason.”

The company who posted the ad believes that it’s better for them to get a new employee from the ranks of those who are currently working and happy. Hmmm…

Now we can debate the pros and cons of that logic but in a world where there are multiple candidates for any job, employers need to find some way to separate qualified from unqualified candidates. Apparently, under the law, using current employment status as a filter for screening candidates is not illegal unless it has a ‘disparate impact’ on minority groups.”

Whining about how this isn’t fair won’t get us anywhere. We need to ignore these companies and find a job. For the employed who are looking for a new opportunity I suggest that you stay away from any company that uses a person’s ‘current employment status’ as a criteria for employment. When they have cuts, what will the criteria be? People whose parents need care? People whose children have a chronic illness?

If it looks like discrimination and sounds like discrimination… it probably is.

For those of you who are unemployed, my suggestion is– DO NOT spend 2 seconds thinking about these short-sighted employers. If you are consistently building your skills (in this you have the advantage over your employed brethren) and have a positive attitude; it will all work out. Don’t let the turkeys get you down.

Are you a 21st Century Leader?

I came across this excellent article called 20 Questions Determine a Brain’s Leadership Fate. The questions made me stop and think about my own leadership and whether I am adapting. Check these out:

1. What solution did you rock lately?

2. When did you last thank a bloke? (Yes, written by someone who’s English is not American!)

3. Do you cultivate curiosity? (Good job, you’re reading blogs!)

4. Are you outsourcing brainpower? (List key facts that allow others to build on what you and they know)

5. Do you collaborate to find stellar solutions?

6. What innovations mix up your day?

7. Do others deem you quaint?

8. Can you celebrate gender proclivities?

While this post talks about how these ‘exercises’ actually change and improve brain function (cool), it’s also a reminder that regardless of whether we’re employed or not, we have the opportunity to hone our skills. Reaching out and participating in group activities, appreciating others, teaching, learning and collaborating improve our mood and challenge our ideas. Pick one of the above and work on it, even a little. Your brain and your mood will thank you.

One of my favorite sayings is “Would you rather be right or happy?” Many of us get stuck in being right because our brains have ruts, literal ruts. Expand your mind, be wrong, laugh and while your at it, thank a bloke.

Walking on a Tightrope

I recently started reading a new blog by Joshua Blankenship. The post that turned me on Whose You Do You Want To Be?

If you have talent, there will always be someone telling you how to use it. Talent is in short supply, and smart people always have a vision for how you should use yours.

It’s a struggle to balance the need for earning a living and finding a satisfying way to use your talents. There are no courses in school for understanding your gifts and then figuring out how to best use them. Mostly, we tell kids to follow a career path and it’s hard to argue with that. But that doesn’t necessarily help them figure out how to be happy.

The tightrope is the journey to create the life you want. Please don’t be afraid of what other people will say. If they have time to talk about you, they’re not focusing on their own tightrope/happiness. They are likely too afraid to get up on the wire! How about thinking about your fulfillment goals instead your career goals.

When I was young, someone said to me, “be bold and great forces will come to your aid.” I never forgot that.

You don’t have to do something outrageous or outlandish to be true to yourself. But you probably have to bear the weight of people telling you that you’re wrong. Be strong, look for allies and be yourself. There’s no one like you in the whole world.

Inspiring and very entertaining video (also found in Joshua’s blog). Thanks Josh!

Take a Look at Yourself… Is It Time For A Change?

“If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that change…” Man in the Mirror, M. Jackson

When we’re employed, we get up, drive to our jobs, interact with our colleagues and go home. We enjoy our work (or not) and put in long hours. We meet our commitments and take pride in providing for our families. We know we “should” network, join that professional society or help on that committee but somehow, we just can’t find the time.

Then “BLAM” –we find ourselves out of work. We ride the emotional wave and try to find a new groove. If you find yourself out of work, pay attention! You have been given the gift of time. You have every day, all day to do the things you didn’t have time for professionally when you had to go to work everyday.

Take Action: Find what you love and then chip away at the obstacles that are stopping you from being successful.

• Make a list of the things you are doing to grow your skills. Are you satisfied?
• Write down 3 things that you always wanted to do professionally.
• Talk with someone you like and respect about how to begin to do any of them.
• Commit to doing something everyday that challenges you.

I love to make presentations. I get energized when I’m sharing in front of a crowd. I used to hate to network but then I figured out, the only way to do what I really love is to talk to lots of people and work to get opportunities to do what I want.

What are you doing today to change yourself? Are you getting what you want? Is it time for a change? Confide your dreams to someone. Reflect on what’s good. Take action.

The Only Question (Almost) You Need to Ask in a Job Interview

You’ve got the interview. Great. Your suit is pressed and you’ve done your research. You’ve practiced answering tough questions like:

• What is your greatest weakness?
• Explain how you handled a difficult person at work
• Discuss a failure you had and how you managed to turn it around

Phew. Ok, you’re ready. Here’s one more idea. When the interviewer asks you if you have any questions, try this:

“What are you looking for in a candidate?”

Wow, powerful question. Think about it. This gets the interviewer talking specifically about the criteria (hopefully beyond the job description) they are using to judge candidates. I suggest you take notes while they are talking. This will help you talk point by point about how you fit their criteria.

Ask questions for clarification but do not interrupt. Let the person talk as long as they want. This is the specific information that you need to sell them on your credentials. I repeat, let them finish and be sure you understand (using active listening) what s/he is saying.

Once you understand, you can start telling the interviewer about how your skills and experience match what they are looking for. While they are talking you can be jotting down ideas or stories that will convince them you’re the one. This is your chance to be self-confident and helps you to focus on the skills that are most important to this hiring manager.

I previously wrote about my favorite interview question, “Why is this a great place to work?” Try both of these and let me know how it goes.

Pay Attention Or You Might Miss Something Very Cool

Look at this picture carefully. Notice something about the rider? Inspiration is all around us if we pay attention. I liked this blog post from a bike rider   http://kevinliebl.wordpress.com/2009/12/06/inspiration/.

What’s great about this story is that while the author comes across inspiration unexpectedly, as we often do, he fully  appreciates what he’s observed and that’s the key. It’s easy to understand why the other rider causes him to pause, after all, this bike rider is unlike almost any other.  How do we find inspiration when the source is not so obvious?

You know the bumper sticker; if you can read this thank a teacher. It’s good to appreciate the people who teach our children, but what about the person who drives them on the school bus?  Driving a school bus is a tough job and I am always especially inspired by the person who has the patience (and shoulder the risk) of driving my kids to school. This is not a plea for ‘love a bus driver’ (although I think the same thing about city bus drivers – the patience, the traffic…) but is a suggestion to look for inspiration in the simplest of places. It is all around us if we only stop for a minute and appreciate people’s effort.

Every day, I make it a habit to catch people doing things right and thanking them for it. I smile and wave thank you at the person (standing the hot sun or freezing cold) directing traffic around road construction. They inevitably smile back. They are there to make my driving safer. I’m inspired by their willingness to smile at someone just driving by.

Catch people in your family learning new things – that’s inspirational. If you really listen to the person you just met, you might find them compelling. But you’ll need to pay attention. Tell me about the things and people you find inspirational.

Change is Good

One of my favorite sayings is “Change is good, timing is everything and patience is the key.” While I like it, I also hate it. Change is hard.

Growing up, my family moved around a lot so I got very good at making new friends and adapting to new situations. I had more success being a good listener than a big talker. I learned to ask questions so people would talk about themselves. I learned to smile and be patient. All these skills have contributed to my professional success.

We can learn a lot from our animal friends. Think about the chameleon. Change doesn’t faze this little creature; s/he expects it and is ready anytime to adapt to their environment. It’s part of their DNA. What part of your professional style needs adapting? Talking less and listening more? Saying positive things about your accomplishments? Building a new skill? Or is it just finding joy in the small things of everyday life?

Change is Good is a short, inspirational video that will remind you why change is so important. Watch, enjoy and then decide what you are going to do to prepare for the changes that are coming, ‘cause they’re coming!

You’re Either a List Person or You’re Not, Right?

There’s a new book out called The Checklist Manifesto written by a general surgeon at the Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston. I wondered why a book about checklists had been on the NY Times best seller list for 5 months.

I’m a list person. When my kids were small, I lived by lists.  Somedays, I got so little done that I would add something to my list that I had done and then cross it off just to make myself feel better. Other people I know (and love) hate lists. They think it’s a sign of weakness and an insult to their intelligence. I’m not saying I’m right in my list making but the book helped me to think twice about the value of having a standard work list (can you say lean?) and checking yourself against it.

The doctor’s point is this. No matter how expert you are, a well-designed check list can improve results. The best-known use of checklists is by airplane pilots. If you are Pilot Sully Sullenberger and you’ve been flying for 30+ years, do you really need to get into a plane and run through a checklist? The answer of course is yes.

Are the rest of us think so smart or so special that we don’t need lists? Hmmm…

Most interesting to me is the author’s point that checklists, used properly, imply three transformative values:

1. Humility — we admit we need gentle reminders regarding the obvious
2. Discipline — we make ourselves go through this simple process
3. Teamwork — we take the time to be sure we are all on the same page

Imagine how different our workplace would be if we kept these 3 values in mind. I might be a list person but I’m going to start thinking about making new kinds of lists. Ok all you anti-list people, let’s hear it!