The saddest and trickiest part about discrimination is that many people (myself included) are not aware when we’re engaging in it. This distinguishes us from the people who are simply bigots and don’t care. In both cases, however, if you are the ‘discriminee’ it doesn’t really matter.
In this ad for Nivea skin products, the company created an ad campaign for African Americans called, “Recivilize Yourself.” Hmmm. Bad move. Implying that people are civilized or uncivilized based on their race is well… infuriating. And yet, Nivea paid, I would guess, millions of dollars to put it’s prejudice into full color! Note the ‘head’ (presumably the model’s uncivilized self). WOW. How could something like this get approved in 2011? By the way, Nivea did apologize (on Facebook!)
“It was never our intention to offend anyone, and for this we are deeply sorry. This ad will never be used again. Diversity and equal opportunity are crucial values of our company.”
Don’t know about you but I’m not feeling it….
I think the bottom line for all of us is that we need to be diligent in examining our beliefs and stereotypes. Discrimination is rampant these days is against 20 somethings. I implore you to think again about this generation. As digital natives, they have skills we desperately need to learn and understand.
As a woman in business, I have experienced discrimination many times; sometimes overt, sometimes subtle. Like all those before me who have felt this sting, I have a couple of choices. I can either be upset and let it affect the way I conduct myself or I can look the person in the eye, speak my peace when appropriate and move on. There’s too much good in the world to let ignorance or someone else’s opinion of me change how I live my life.
Stereotypes are not usually helpful. In some cases, however, examining our own attitudes about them may teach us some important lessons.
Executives teams often complain to me about their 20-something (Millenials- born between 1980 – 1995) employees. They claim they are:
- Obsessed by their phones, lazy, distracted, self-absorbed and entitled
I don’t happen to share those attitudes but I can see their point. I work with, teach and constantly learn from Millenials. I find them hardworking, thoughtful and eager to learn. Technology (phones etc.) are part of their DNA.
Here’s what I hear from those Millenials about their Boomer (born 1946 through 1964) bosses. They say Boomers are:
- Rigid, rude (poor listeners), afraid of technology and unable to adapt to changing times
I don’t happen to share those attitudes either, but I do see their point. I suggest reading this article to learn more about the issues of the generations working together, “How Has the Recession Shaped Career Attitudes…”
My hope is that by having the generations share ideas and help each other, we can compete effectively not with other Americans, but with the global workforce. I’m interested in your stories about effective cross-generational work environments.
Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/joi/455111587/ Notice in the photo that despite their differences; they are riding on the same train… heading in the same direction.
Last week we talked about what the regulators are doing. Now I’m going to share some real sad but true stories from the social realm. You may or may not agree with the decisions described here but that’s not the point. What’s important is to understand that –this is reality. I have heard each of these stories first hand. Here we go…
— A CEO described interviewing a young man and liking him. After the young man left, the CEO decided to go online and ‘Google’ him. (Yes, that’s a verb now, to Google.) Here’s what he read on Facebook. “I just had an interview at xyz company. The company is a dog but I’m sure they are going to make me an offer which I’ll take while I keep looking.” He didn’t get the job and probably to this day doesn’t know why.
– A graduate student getting his Master’s in teaching began doing his student teaching. After about 3 weeks, he was called by HR and told he was being terminated. When he asked why, he was told that photos ‘unbecoming’ a teacher were found online. They found pictures of him on his Facebook page drinking a beer (he was over 21) in a public park.
I live in New York, an ‘at will’ employment state, which means that any employer can ‘let go’ any employee without cause. (ok, that’s not the legal terminology).
Bottom line: Pay attention folks. It’s not a conspiracy but they are out to get you.
Last week I was speaking at a big event and had the pleasure of meeting many people. I was, however, unhappily struck by the number of people who don’t realize the negative impression of their fishy handshake.
What do I mean by a ‘fishy’ handshake? Well, when you offer just the fingers of your hand or when you fail to grasp the other person’s hand and shake it with confidence; you run the risk of having people think you are weak. This especially goes for men shaking hands with women. It is disrespectful to barely shake hands with a woman. It makes them think that you don’t think of them as equals.
You’ve probably heard the story about why we shake hands, i.e., to show that we have no weapons in our hands. Aside from the way we dress and eye contact, our handshake is another very important signal of our confidence.
When you shake hands, please, oh please I’m begging you, look the person in the eye and give them a gentle but firm handshake. This isn’t a strength contest but it is a chance to make the other person sit up and take notice of your positive manner. So ladies, put your hand out there and shake firmly. Guys, do the same. it’s so important!
“If you don’t risk anything, you risk even more…” Erica Jong
Last week I made a presentation to the Western NY chapter of the Product Development Management Association (PDMA) on how Social Media is radically changing the world of product development. I have been working on the ideas for this presentation and getting to know people in the group for nearly a year. When the time came for me to make this presentation, I believed I had something valuable to share.
But some little part of me thought, uh oh. What if they disagree? What if the material isn’t interesting? These are just my thoughts and ideas; maybe I’m wrong. In other words, I knew I was taking a risk and suddenly the reality of the risk hit home. A few minutes later, I pushed these thoughts from my mind, knew that I was well prepared and then hoped for the best. You’ll be glad to know that everything went well.
In my mind, if I’m not taking a fair number of risks in my professional life, then I’m not learning and growing. The important thing is to take calculated risks; ones that I know from experience, have a fairly high probability of turning out in my favor. Years ago I heard this quote and decided that I would embrace the philosophy…”The best way to cope with change is to create it.”
And here’s another very interesting way to look at it… “If you don’t like change, you’re going to like irrelevancy even less.” General Eric Shinseki, Chief of Staff, U.S. Army
This week I had the privilege of helping someone who decided to change his life. Doesn’t matter the circumstances; what matters is that the person reached out and took help when it was offered. We all find ourselves in situations where we need to ask for help. Does my pride prevent me from getting help or do I accept graciously and humbly?
I hate asking for help. I hate the idea that I need help or that there’s anything in the world I can’t do all by myself. But the truth is that we all need a hand from time to time. So if you are struggling, ask for help. If you don’t get what you need from the first person you ask, try someone else. The lessons we learn when we’re vulnerable are exactly what make us approachable and able to help others. On the other hand, if things are going well for you; reach out to someone. Everyday, the world presents us with opportunities to help each other. It may be as simple as listening, a smile, a kind word or much more.
One last thing. When we let someone help us; we give them the chance to feel good about themselves. Think of it as a gift that goes both ways. Remember: we’re all in this together.
I enjoy teaching because I love that moment when I see my students nodding their heads. Eureka, they are getting it! Light bulbs are going off! It’s a great feeling. But even more importantly, my students always teach me so much; about myself and the world (as they see it!)
If we are parents with children at home; we of course recognize that teaching them is part of our role. But do we also see that we are students of our children? That they are teaching us as much as we are teaching them?
Everyday we meet new people. Are we open to learning about them? To learning about what they have to teach us?
Everyday I set a goal of seeing if I can make a difference in someone else’s life by doing something small like: listening to them, thanking them, noticing how hard they work or how much THEY make a difference. It’s a simple and small thing but it gives my life meaning. The well-known poem Desiderata puts an interesting spin on this. Here’s an excerpt from this simple guide for living a happy life.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
I’m tired of hearing people say they don’t want to use social media because they don’t want to know every detail of someone else’s life. Well, if this were true, celebrity magazines wouldn’t exist; neither would soap operas or the 21st century version, reality TV.
So I thought I gently remind everyone that it’s precisely life’s details that make it interesting.
I was talking to someone about networking and how much I dislike showing up at a event to make small talk with strangers. Interestingly though, conversing via twitter, blogs, face book and other networks can actually be fun. I have met some wonderful people this way.
And, by the way, you can crab all you want about having to ‘learn’ new things and ‘use the computer to connect’ and engage but the fact is that this train has left the station. You can have fun, learn and look for what’s good in the new world of social networking or not. But please, spare me your tales of not caring, not getting it and not wanting to be bothered. Boy I’m crabby in the new year. I promise I’ll be better by my next post.
There are 2 kinds of households – those that have a teenager at home who can help with the computers and those that don’t (OK, there are some households that have an adult that understands technology but they don’t count!)
Many of us don’t see the world through the filter of a connected/electronic world. We weren’t raised on instant messenger in high school nor did we become social beings via Facebook in college. Someone moved our cheese and now we do need to understand and embrace technology and the ‘socialness’ that is the new world of business and commerce.
I advocate for ‘reverse mentorship’- the pairing of a ‘digital native’ (younger/wired person) with a senior executive in order to create synergies, teach each other, learn and grow a company. The executive gains insight about how technology is affecting the world and the younger person gains experience and guidance. The key to making this work has less to do with interpersonal skills and more to do with the openness of the executive and how ‘coachable’ the younger person is. Setting goals, having lively discussions and respecting each other are all part of the process to help our companies keep up with global competition.
Alexa Scordato, piloted this idea at her first job at Mzinga and has gone on to talk about it at TEDxBoston.
Leaders need to embrace new ways of listening and engaging customers and how social is changing all aspects of the enterprise. Regularly hearing unfiltered feedback (not through sales reps or customer service) direct from our customers and prospects is an exciting proposition. The question is… when we have it, what will we do with it?
Please share who are you learning from these days.
I have a friend who talks about the power of two. One person can make a huge difference in the lives of many people. However, 2 people, joined in purpose and intent, can move mountains.
I believe that the way that we work, play and innovate is undergoing a revolution and social media/web 2.0 are at the heart of it. Beyond Facebook, Twitter and Linked In are wikis, online communities, videos, ning groups, meet ups, blogs, podcasts and so many more cool ways to communicate that we have barely begun to scratch the surface.
Back in the mid-1990′s, we used altavista to search for information on the then new “world wide web.” Remember? If we had to use a search tool like that today, we would be tearing our hair out. The tools we have for collaboration are similarly unsophisticated compared to what we’ll have at our fingertips in just a few short years. The ways we want to work together are already evolving faster than the toolkit.
I have started a new blog, A Collaboration Nation to share ideas and get us thinking not only about tools for sharing ideas, but also how we work together. I came across a book called “The Power of Two” and from it, I took this excerpt;
Effective allies agree with these 3 statements:
We focus on each other’s strengths, not weaknesses.
We accept each other as we are and don’t try to change each other.
We are understanding of each other when one of us makes mistakes.
In those cases where you work with one other person, how effective are you as a partner? When we focus on the power we have to make great things happen, guess what; great things happen.
The saddest and trickiest part about discrimination is that many people (myself included) are not aware when we’re engaging in it. This distinguishes us from the people who are simply bigots and don’t care. In both cases, however, if you are the ‘discriminee’ it doesn’t really matter.
Life Transitions | Deborah | 
August 23, 2011 10:23 am | 
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