When was the last time you had a spectacular failure?
I don’t mean “oops”— I mean whoa, that did not work out the way I thought.
No one likes failure – BUT, I know if I’m not occasionally failing and — failing fast, then I’m not taking enough risk. Most of the good stuff in my life came to me because I could not get what I needed or wanted via ‘the safe road.’
But remember this. I’m a Capricorn; the goat. We do not leap or pounce; we plod.
So for all you who are thinking… yeah, it’s easy for her. STOP RIGHT THERE. Taking risks is hard, scary, unsafe at any speed.
Here’s what helps me take more risk:
– My mentors are in their 20′s & 30′s. I am eager to learn from them & they are patient and generous.
– I gravitate to people who are trying new stuff and look for opportunities to associate with entrepreneurs.
– I try to read books that challenge my thinking. (I know, books are long and take a lot of time to read but I skim.) I visit the library. You can add your review to your Linked In profile. Here are a couple of suggestions that I’m going for:
Change is good, timing is everything, patience is the key. However… the good Lord helps those that help themselves. If you always do what you always did… you’ll always get what you always got. How’s that working out for you?
When I was on unemployment, I was really happy. Don’t get me wrong, I love having my own business but getting paid to meet people, learn new things, think about my potential, help people and so on was great.
If you are unemployed, do you see yourself as lucky? Are you having fun? Are you showing your children how to thrive in times of change? (Believe me, whatever changes you have seen in your life will be child’s play compared to what they will go through.)
Put on an elaborate puppet show for your kids (fun, colorful socks work great)
Join (or start) a book club and actually read the assigned books
Write a thank you note to an inspirational high school or college teacher
You may or may be surprised at all the “yes buts” I hear everyday. “I would join a book club but when I go back to work I won’t have time.” ” Why should I help someone else, I need help!)” blah, blah, blah. Just do it, you lucky, lucky dog.
“We systematically overestimate the value of access to information and underestimate the value of access to each other.” C. Shirky
I admire Clay Shirky. Not because he’s smart or because he’s at MIT but because he has common, human sense.
When I speak to groups about Social Media, I work hard to make sure that they understand the difference between the power of social (connectedness) and the web 2.0 toolkit (Twitter, Facebook, Linked In, etc.) The real revolution is not in the toolkit, it’s in the way we can care for and about each other.
Social media changes everything but ONLY for those who understand it. I like this because it means that selfish people think that social media is a stupid waste of time. They’ll never realize the benefits and that’s as it should be.
In a recent article in Fast Company titled, For Brands, Being Human Is The New Black the author points out that, “more and more, brands are gaining traction by embracing qualities like honesty, kindness, and simply having a sense of humor about themselves.” Hmmm… it makes me sad to think that these qualities are ‘in fashion’ now which implies that they will ‘go out of fashion.’
But I have faith because I see the younger generation of leaders and entrepreneurs using their ‘digital native’ abilities to make the world a better place. The rest of us can learn a thing or two.
The saddest and trickiest part about discrimination is that many people (myself included) are not aware when we’re engaging in it. This distinguishes us from the people who are simply bigots and don’t care. In both cases, however, if you are the ‘discriminee’ it doesn’t really matter.
In this ad for Nivea skin products, the company created an ad campaign for African Americans called, “Recivilize Yourself.” Hmmm. Bad move. Implying that people are civilized or uncivilized based on their race is well… infuriating. And yet, Nivea paid, I would guess, millions of dollars to put it’s prejudice into full color! Note the ‘head’ (presumably the model’s uncivilized self). WOW. How could something like this get approved in 2011? By the way, Nivea did apologize (on Facebook!)
“It was never our intention to offend anyone, and for this we are deeply sorry. This ad will never be used again. Diversity and equal opportunity are crucial values of our company.”
Don’t know about you but I’m not feeling it….
I think the bottom line for all of us is that we need to be diligent in examining our beliefs and stereotypes. Discrimination is rampant these days is against 20 somethings. I implore you to think again about this generation. As digital natives, they have skills we desperately need to learn and understand.
As a woman in business, I have experienced discrimination many times; sometimes overt, sometimes subtle. Like all those before me who have felt this sting, I have a couple of choices. I can either be upset and let it affect the way I conduct myself or I can look the person in the eye, speak my peace when appropriate and move on. There’s too much good in the world to let ignorance or someone else’s opinion of me change how I live my life.
Stereotypes are not usually helpful. In some cases, however, examining our own attitudes about them may teach us some important lessons.
Executives teams often complain to me about their 20-something (Millenials- born between 1980 – 1995) employees. They claim they are:
- Obsessed by their phones, lazy, distracted, self-absorbed and entitled
I don’t happen to share those attitudes but I can see their point. I work with, teach and constantly learn from Millenials. I find them hardworking, thoughtful and eager to learn. Technology (phones etc.) are part of their DNA.
Here’s what I hear from those Millenials about their Boomer (born 1946 through 1964) bosses. They say Boomers are:
- Rigid, rude (poor listeners), afraid of technology and unable to adapt to changing times
I don’t happen to share those attitudes either, but I do see their point. I suggest reading this article to learn more about the issues of the generations working together, “How Has the Recession Shaped Career Attitudes…”
My hope is that by having the generations share ideas and help each other, we can compete effectively not with other Americans, but with the global workforce. I’m interested in your stories about effective cross-generational work environments.
Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/joi/455111587/ Notice in the photo that despite their differences; they are riding on the same train… heading in the same direction.
Creativity is like soap. Just when you’ve got it in your hands and it feels good – it slips away. Many people don’t understand that creativity needs to be nurtured; others think that creativity is just for “artists.”
Creativity is an important component of a happy life. It doesn’t matter whether it’s in the kitchen, the garden, the classroom, the boardroom or the cocktail party. It’s really more of an attitude and a skill combined.
How does a creative person behave? How do they think?
Who do you think is creative? Watch them, listen to them, support them.
Not sure how nurture your creative side? Try this – 29 Ways to Stay Creative.
I had the good luck of being born into the family of Dorothy Fitzgerald. She was my great aunt but I considered her my grandmother. She lived at home until 3 months before she passed away at the age of 99.
Here she is in Gloucester, Mass. in 1929. She was a working woman (she worked for the IRS) and was the single finest human being I have ever known. Let me tell you a bit about her.
- She was kind to everyone. No exceptions. Race, age, economic status– everyone was treated the same. With respect.
- She never passed judgment. Dorothy was intelligent and well read and if asked, she would give a thoughtful, considered opinion but more often than not, she’d say she really didn’t know much about x or y (even if she did). She was open to hearing what others had to say.
- She was fiscally responsible. She had money and spent it wisely but she was also generous. She had impeccable taste. Her home was beautiful and welcoming. We often shared holidays with people from other countries who found themselves in the US. She knew that the best gifts were time and love.
- She was helpful when she could be and knew when to keep her mouth shut.
It was my privilege to know her and be part of her family. She was gracious without being phony and always generous of spirit . If I can be half of the person she was, I will consider myself a success.
Will you tell me about your role model? I am looking forward to the inspiration!
You’re pretty cool. You’ve worked hard, you’re a nice person. So, are you where you want to be?
Sometimes we get so caught up in day to day living that we forget that we have the power to change ourselves. We have everything justified in our minds about why we can’t change, why things aren’t going our way, blah, blah, blah.
Practice one of these and it will change you…forever:
Promote someone else. When was the last time you helped to promote someone else? Not yourself; someone else. A person who you think is great. Talk about him/her to your connections. This will require you to know them well enough to help promote them. (No promoting your son, daughter– doesn’t count!)
Be brave. My favorite poet is Mary Oliver. I know you’re thinking, oh no, not poetry. Yuck. Well, I get that. I like poetry and I don’t understand most it. (Maybe that’s because it’s bad poetry!) Anyway, Mary wrote this poem titled The Journey. She talks to us about listening to our inner voice and having the courage to be ourselves. Not easy but the most worthwhile of life’s adventures.
Be here now. During your day, be fully present when you are talking to someone. Look them in the eye, smile, listen as if you were going to have to repeat back to them what they just told you. Practice this with your children, spouse, friends, parents, etc. You’ll be surprised at how much fun it is, how much it is appreciated and the joy of being in the moment.
Change is good, timing is everything, patience is the key. I’m in your corner!
It may be hard to believe but many Human Resource professionals are gearing up their recruiting efforts. While the economy isn’t exactly humming, the job market is heating up and companies are actively looking for ‘bench strength.’ In a 2010 survey titled, Job Seeker Nation, it was reported that we are rapidly becoming a nation of ‘free agents’ who are continuously alert for opportunities. And by the way, this is a good thing. Try this on for size…
I know keeping up our skills is hard and that trying to make sure we’re networking and connecting is a pain. But consider the alternative. “If you don’t like change, you’re going to like irrelevance even less,” said General Eric Shinseki, Chief of Staff, U. S. Army. He wasn’t referring to the job market but, it does apply.
Each of us needs to be thinking about being a proactive career manager. Are you diligently building your network? Are you getting training? Are you actively discussing key aspects of change in your field? Do you read blogs that are relevant to your industry? Are you out of your comfort zone?
I want to be one of those people that companies are willing to fight to recruit. How about you?
I used to sit in an airport or restaurant and watch people (usually young) messing with their phones. I couldn’t imagine what they were doing! My device world consisted of a palm pilot and blackberry before I moved away from corporate America so what did I know about a smart phone? My sister would carry on about how much she loved her iPhone. Ok. Whatever. But she was right and now I understand.
If you have a smart phone and you already get this but please remember; there are a LOT of people who don’t. This means that you have an opportunity in your work to help your organization use these tools to keep ahead of your competition. If you are not a smart phone user, I suggest you take a few minutes and ask someone to show you what all the hoopla is about. Here’s one example…
I love word games, especially scrabble, so when I found out I could play it on my phone (called Words With Friends), I was intrigued. I started playing with ‘random opponents’, people the game would partner me with. I’d played a few games with an opponent and we started chatting within the game. It turns out he’s in Australia. I’m playing scrabble, on my phone with someone on the other side of the world. Think of the ramifications for business. Think of how this device is shrinking the world.
One hundred million people are playing mobile games and about $1 billion revenue was generated in 2010. If you’re not seeing the connection to your job or business, maybe you’re just not thinking broadly enough. The personal computer started at home and then went to the office. So it goes with mobile. It’s not about the game… it’s about access to the person’s attention… anytime, anyplace. Let me know what you think.
When was the last time you had a spectacular failure?
job search, Life Transitions | Deborah | 
September 27, 2011 6:30 am | 
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