Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf, Sheep, Wolf, Sheep?

Is social media good or evil? A boon to democracy or a complete invasion of our privacy? I can give you excellent examples of each.

Everyday, people tell me how wonderful/stupid Facebook and Twitter are. What’s interesting is that the people with the least knowledge are the ones with the strongest opinions. I ask my friends, colleagues, students, clients and anyone else who will listen to:

• Understand that social media is about building relationships (just like in real life)
• Know that if you act like an idiot (or a bigot or company that doesn’t care), people will find out about it much faster than ever before

People ask me if they should:

• Connect to people they don’t know on Linked In
• Combine their personal and professional Facebook accounts
• Say yes to the offer to get 2,000 twitter followers in 3 days

Let’s see. In real life would you invite 2,000 strangers to your house for coffee? Probably not. Would you invite everyone from your office to your house for a barbeque? Hmm, no. So why would you do any of the above? Twitter isn’t stupid if you follow smart people. Facebook can be a wonderful way to connect to people you care about.

If you follow the simple idea that you are looking to build trust, then the decisions about who to follow, friend, fan, like, or connect to becomes clearer.

But let’s face it. Stupid is as stupid does. If you act like the people in the stories below, things probably will turn out badly for you and you know what… you deserve it.

Evesham Township PA posting photos of suspects on their Facebook page.

Woman with an Order of Protection gets help when “friended” on Facebook.

Company shows it’s incredible insensitivity and loses (thank goodness).

Let’s Face It; It’s All About Sales

It’s career day at your (or your child’s) high school  or college. Who is likely to be giving the talks? I’ll bet it’ll be professions like medicine, law and business management.

How often do those career days include someone from sales? I’d venture to say almost never. But truthfully, most of us spend a lot of our time selling, regardless of our title. Even in today’s tight job market; there are always open positions for sales people. Sales is an honorable profession and one where people with integrity and intelligence are truly needed.

Whether we’re looking for a job, trying to convince someone of our point of view or persuading a family member to do what we want; it’s all about sales. Sales is “the art of persuading.” I’m not talking about the sales ambush; where we are being forced to think about buying something we don’t want and getting pressured.

The most effective sales people understand their customer and match their product or service with the needs of that customer. In addition, they are often the best listeners, make an excellent living and have a lot of autonomy over their work day.

I mentor and coach small businesses as part of my volunteer commitment to SCORE ( an entity of the Federal government’s Small Business Administration). When I talk to entrepreneurs, I ask them if they think they are sales people. Inevitably they say no, but the  truth is that every entrepreneur needs to be a great sales person. They need to sell customers, investors, business partners and on and on.

Here are some sales tips that are also terrific ideas for everyday living. Here are my personal favorites:

• Want to improve the quality of your communication? Ask a better question!
• Guess what, it NOT about you.  It’s about them!
• Stephen Covey once said “Most people do not listen with the ‘intent’ to understand. Most people listen with an intent to reply.”

What are your favorite sales tips? I need all the help I can get.

Never Judge a Book By It’s Cover… The #1 Networking Rule

Here’s a cool little video that describes why there’s no place for snobbery in networking.

In case you don’t have a chance to watch it, the person tells the story of a pink pantsuited, bracelet-jangling big haired blond who comes into a networking room where the marketing executive looks down on her… only to find out that she is personal friends with the one contact he cares about. Hmmm…

In some measure though, we’re all guilty of judging others. Some of that is human nature and we need to fight that every day of our lives. In our career, we need to make sure we have an open mind about how we can help others and how others can help us.

I have heard it over and over again from unemployed people when I suggest they talk to their neighbors. I hear, “they don’t know anyone” or “I’m embarrassed for them to know I’m still out of work” and other lame excuses. Get over it.

Maybe you can help your neighbor. Did you ever consider that? If you tackle networking like it’s a job, where the best scenario is a win/win and the worst scenario is that VERY LITTLE effort is put forth AND the results are lousy. No one said finding a new job is easy whether you currently have a job or not.

If you’re a bit stuck in your search;  find someone else to help. If you’re currently employed; find someone else to help. Choose wisely but help them; with a contact, a few hours of volunteer time, an idea or the best gift ever, listening.

Are you a 21st Century Leader?

I came across this excellent article called 20 Questions Determine a Brain’s Leadership Fate. The questions made me stop and think about my own leadership and whether I am adapting. Check these out:

1. What solution did you rock lately?

2. When did you last thank a bloke? (Yes, written by someone who’s English is not American!)

3. Do you cultivate curiosity? (Good job, you’re reading blogs!)

4. Are you outsourcing brainpower? (List key facts that allow others to build on what you and they know)

5. Do you collaborate to find stellar solutions?

6. What innovations mix up your day?

7. Do others deem you quaint?

8. Can you celebrate gender proclivities?

While this post talks about how these ‘exercises’ actually change and improve brain function (cool), it’s also a reminder that regardless of whether we’re employed or not, we have the opportunity to hone our skills. Reaching out and participating in group activities, appreciating others, teaching, learning and collaborating improve our mood and challenge our ideas. Pick one of the above and work on it, even a little. Your brain and your mood will thank you.

One of my favorite sayings is “Would you rather be right or happy?” Many of us get stuck in being right because our brains have ruts, literal ruts. Expand your mind, be wrong, laugh and while your at it, thank a bloke.

What? I Can’t Hear You (I’m Not Listening)

I learned this week that the number one skill that the worker of the future will need is active listening.  You know, the skill where you actually pay attention to what the other person says.

It’s says a lot about modern living that the number one skill we’ll need is something “soft”, not technological and I think it’s a good thing. So how can we improve this essential life skill?

1.  Listen with your eyes – Eye contact can help you pay attention and has the added benefit of making the speaker feel special. This is especially important in coaching, mentoring or leadership.

2. Summarize – when the person is finished, repeat back what you heard. When you know you are going to do that, you will pay more attention and stop thinking about what you are going to say next.

3.  Pay attention to you own body language -  Are your shoulders square to the person speaking? Are your arms uncrossed? Are you leaning forward slightly? These are all signs that you are listening.

I like to practice these skills on the people who mean the most to me; my children, my family, my friends,  my co-workers. I also make a conscious effort to practice this everyday with the people that I meet. You’ll have to ask them, but I hope they’ll tell you that after we’re done talking; they feel good because they know I’ve heard them. This is probably one of the most important things I do everyday.  I am interested in stories about how better listening is changing your life.

If you’re looking for a little more information, try this article called, “Now Pay Attention.”

The Bozo Explosion – How To Be an A+ Candidate

I just read a blog post from Guy Kawasaki called, “The Art of Recruiting” (2006).  In it, Guy talks about how the idea of  “A” players hiring other “A” players and “B” players hiring “C” players.  His conclusion is that “A” players actually need to hire “A+” players; candidates better than themselves. While “it takes self-confidence and self-awareness” to do this, “it’s the only way to build a great team.” The Bozo explosion, he notes, is the slippery slope of hiring “B” players who then hire all the way down to “Z” players.

So how do we get to be “A+” players? I’d like to suggest that while we may not all be “A+” players, we can learn to be “A+” versions of ourselves in our chosen field.

1. Commit to learning how to manage yourself (Peter Drucker) and never stop. Find a mentor or co-mentor and tackle the hard work of self examination. What can I do better; how can I be more effective? What are my strengths and how can I build on them?
2. Read books. Smart people write books.  I love to talk to people about the books that interest them.  Reading a book takes effort and it feels great when you finish.  Add the book and what you learned to your Linked In profile.
3. Listen. This seems so elementary and yet, I’m always working on this.  Here’s a test.  The next time you meet someone new, sit down immediately after your conversation and write down the questions you asked them.  Think about how much time you spent listening versus talking. After you shake hands to part company, honestly assess how well you listened. What are the 5 things you learned about that person? What did you admire about them? If you can’t recall, you probably could have listened better.
4. Demonstrate passion. Guy’s advice to recruiters is to hire passion not skills.  To job hunters he says, “Passion can overcome the lack of a ‘perfect’ educational background and work experience.

I learned to listen while raising my children. The more I talked, the less they listened. The more I listened, the more they talked. Pretty simple.  Let me know how you are growing to or maintaining your “A+” status. I need all the ideas I can get!