Sometimes we get so caught up in day to day living that we forget that we have the power to change ourselves. We have everything justified in our minds about why we can’t change, why things aren’t going our way, blah, blah, blah.

Practice one of these and it will change you…forever:

Promote someone else. When was the last time you helped to promote someone else? Not yourself; someone else. A person who you think is great. Talk about him/her to your connections.  This will require you to know them well enough to help promote them. (No promoting your son, daughter– doesn’t count!)

Be brave. My favorite poet is Mary Oliver. I know you’re thinking, oh no, not poetry. Yuck. Well, I get that. I like poetry and I don’t understand most it. (Maybe that’s because it’s bad poetry!) Anyway, Mary wrote this poem titled The Journey. She talks to us about listening to our inner voice and having the courage to be ourselves. Not easy but the most worthwhile of life’s adventures.

Be here now. During your day, be fully present when you are talking to someone. Look them in the eye, smile, listen as if you were going to have to repeat back to them what they just told you. Practice this with your children, spouse, friends, parents, etc. You’ll be surprised at how much fun it is, how much it is appreciated and the joy of being in the moment.

Change is good, timing is everything, patience is the key. I’m in your corner!

Photo credit: Sharon Greene

Over the years, I learned that while being good is an important part of ‘being a good person,” believing that I had to be good all the time caused problems. Why? Because it meant that I had to pretend that I never got angry. And anger is a normal part of a person’s range of emotions. It’s not getting or feeling angry that’s a problem; it’s what we do with that anger.

To release my anger appropriately I learned to:

• Hit the bed with a tennis racket (try it, it’s great!)
• Scream loudly while driving in the car (alone, of course- on the highway is best)
• Exercise and play sports
• Listen to really loud music (and dance around)
• Talk to a friend, who will listen and not give advice (second part is really important)

In times of stress, we all find ways to cope. At this time of the year, particularly with New Year’s resolutions flying around, I want us to talk about this emotion. I can be a hidden enemy since there are a lot of unhealthy ways to cope with it. And worst of all, when I don’t deal with it, it comes out sideways in the form of overeating,unnecessary shopping and yelling at the people at inappropriate times. I really don’t want to do any of those.

I dislike new year’s resolutions so I’m not making any. I do like focus and I have my eyes on the prize for 2010.

Mine are:

1) Live one day at a time, just this day right here.

2) Tell the people who mean the most to me how much I love them, everyday.

That’s it.

Got constructive ways of dealing with anger? Please share them so we can all learn to cope better.