The Power of Two

I have a friend who talks about the power of two. One person can make a huge difference in the lives of many people. However, 2 people, joined in purpose and intent, can move mountains.

I believe that the way that we work, play and innovate is undergoing a revolution and social media/web 2.0 are at the heart of it. Beyond Facebook, Twitter and Linked In are wikis, online communities, videos, ning groups, meet ups, blogs, podcasts and so many more cool ways to communicate that we have barely begun to scratch the surface.

Back in the mid-1990′s, we used altavista to search for information on the then new “world wide web.” Remember?  If we had to use a search tool like that today, we would be tearing our hair out. The tools we have for collaboration are similarly unsophisticated compared to what we’ll have at our fingertips in just a few short years. The ways we want to work together are already evolving faster than the toolkit.

I have started a new blog, A Collaboration Nation to share ideas and get us thinking not only about tools for sharing ideas, but also how we work together. I came across a book called “The Power of Two” and from it, I took this excerpt;

Effective allies agree with these 3 statements:

• We focus on each other’s strengths, not weaknesses.
• We accept each other as we are and don’t try to change each other.
• We are understanding of each other when one of us makes mistakes.

In those cases where you work with one other person, how effective are you as a partner? When we focus on the power we have to make great things happen, guess what; great things happen.

Wasting Your Life Trying to Make a Living

So we hear a lot of blah, blah about doing what you love and following your passion. Great you say, but Ive got bills to pay and kids to feed.  Well, we can go around whining about our job/having no job, sucky boss/having no boss and as the song goes, ‘wishin’ and hopin’, plannin’ and dreamin’ but none of this will do any good unless we decide to take action. My favorite saying is…

Don’t try harder, try different.

So how do I figure out what different is or looks like?  TAKE ONE STEP.

People – Look objectively at the people you spend time with. Are they positive, energetic people? Are they interested in living? Do you feel energized after being with them or drained.? Be with people who are upbeat and honest. It’s a choice to surround ourselves with people who are engaged.

Actions – Review how you spent your time in the past week. How much of what you did fell into these 3 categories:

1. You were learning something
2. You were having fun
3. You felt appreciated (or loved if it’s your family)

If you’re not getting two out three of these then ask yourself…What am I going to do? What’s stopping you?  Also, on the flip side of this,  do you consciously teach, make things fun and show appreciation everyday?

Just for today, if you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired- take care of those needs first. Then take a few minutes to think about either the people in your life or the actions that you are taking.  If you’re not sure what to do, talk it over with someone you trust who understands. You deserve it.

This post was inspired by Julien Smith’s post, Your Happiness is Not Your Own, “Perdre sa vie à la gagner.” Je veux dire, jamais!

What Makes a Good Entrepreneur?

I personally have started 2 businesses and am currently helping another one get cooking right now. While it’s an almost overwhelming amount of work, I enjoy it the challenge of creating something from nothing.

As a SCORE volunteer (part of the Small Business Administration), I meet  a lot of wonderful people who have great ideas. Each of them is taking a step towards starting their own business. They are asking for help (by the way it’s free and available to everyone) and researching their idea. I tell them that even if this particular business doesn’t get off the ground, another one just might so keep learning, growing and exploring.

When people find out that I have started businesses or volunteer at SCORE, they inevitably talk about how much fun it must be. They don’t really think about how hard it is to start the business, find the customers, run the business and do the work. While it may sound a bit overwhelming, 20,000 new businesses start every year. I believe that if the United States is going to remain economically strong, we need more and more entrepreneurs to step up.

When I was looking for an image to include with this post, I realized that no photograph of a person or people would work. Entrepreneurs come in every size, shape, age, race, gender, religion and nationality.  This is an important challenge and even if you are not inclined to start a business, I ask that you to visit, support, encourage and cheer lead for local entrepreneurs. When picking a restaurant, pick a local restaurant instead of a chain. Eat local food, buy local goods and we’ll all reap the benefits. I’d love to hear from other entrepreneurs. We need to stick together!

Let’s Face It; It’s All About Sales

It’s career day at your (or your child’s) high school  or college. Who is likely to be giving the talks? I’ll bet it’ll be professions like medicine, law and business management.

How often do those career days include someone from sales? I’d venture to say almost never. But truthfully, most of us spend a lot of our time selling, regardless of our title. Even in today’s tight job market; there are always open positions for sales people. Sales is an honorable profession and one where people with integrity and intelligence are truly needed.

Whether we’re looking for a job, trying to convince someone of our point of view or persuading a family member to do what we want; it’s all about sales. Sales is “the art of persuading.” I’m not talking about the sales ambush; where we are being forced to think about buying something we don’t want and getting pressured.

The most effective sales people understand their customer and match their product or service with the needs of that customer. In addition, they are often the best listeners, make an excellent living and have a lot of autonomy over their work day.

I mentor and coach small businesses as part of my volunteer commitment to SCORE ( an entity of the Federal government’s Small Business Administration). When I talk to entrepreneurs, I ask them if they think they are sales people. Inevitably they say no, but the  truth is that every entrepreneur needs to be a great sales person. They need to sell customers, investors, business partners and on and on.

Here are some sales tips that are also terrific ideas for everyday living. Here are my personal favorites:

• Want to improve the quality of your communication? Ask a better question!
• Guess what, it NOT about you.  It’s about them!
• Stephen Covey once said “Most people do not listen with the ‘intent’ to understand. Most people listen with an intent to reply.”

What are your favorite sales tips? I need all the help I can get.

Are you a 21st Century Leader?

I came across this excellent article called 20 Questions Determine a Brain’s Leadership Fate. The questions made me stop and think about my own leadership and whether I am adapting. Check these out:

1. What solution did you rock lately?

2. When did you last thank a bloke? (Yes, written by someone who’s English is not American!)

3. Do you cultivate curiosity? (Good job, you’re reading blogs!)

4. Are you outsourcing brainpower? (List key facts that allow others to build on what you and they know)

5. Do you collaborate to find stellar solutions?

6. What innovations mix up your day?

7. Do others deem you quaint?

8. Can you celebrate gender proclivities?

While this post talks about how these ‘exercises’ actually change and improve brain function (cool), it’s also a reminder that regardless of whether we’re employed or not, we have the opportunity to hone our skills. Reaching out and participating in group activities, appreciating others, teaching, learning and collaborating improve our mood and challenge our ideas. Pick one of the above and work on it, even a little. Your brain and your mood will thank you.

One of my favorite sayings is “Would you rather be right or happy?” Many of us get stuck in being right because our brains have ruts, literal ruts. Expand your mind, be wrong, laugh and while your at it, thank a bloke.

Just For Today

Not exactly a 'mental loafer'...

There’s a poem I think about often titled Just for Today. There are some terrific ideas here to combat the grind of daily living whether we are looking for a work or going to a job every day.

Just for today I will be happy. This assumes what Abraham Lincoln said: ‘Most folks are about as happy as they make their mind up to be.’

Old Abe really knew his stuff. It’s easy to be negative and focus on what’s not going right. Just for today, try to look for what’s good in your family, friends and colleagues. That’s usually pretty easy. But what about the people we don’t like so much; politicians for instance. I wonder how many of us would have agreed with Mr. Lincoln during his years in the white house. It’s not easy but make a decision to look for what’s good. Ask yourself, how can I make a difference in someone’s life right here, right now?

Just for today I will take care of my body. I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse or neglect it.

Hmmm… how are we doing in this area? I need to work on getting more exercise. Take time for yourself. This is NOT about weight. It’s about caring for yourself. Try doing something different, just one thing. You can do it.

Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought, and concentration.

I love the image of a mental loafer. (A shoe with a  face!) Anyway, it’s easy to get complacent, to think, “I do all this stuff already; I’m already trying so hard.” So don’t try harder, try different.

What? I Can’t Hear You (I’m Not Listening)

I learned this week that the number one skill that the worker of the future will need is active listening.  You know, the skill where you actually pay attention to what the other person says.

It’s says a lot about modern living that the number one skill we’ll need is something “soft”, not technological and I think it’s a good thing. So how can we improve this essential life skill?

1.  Listen with your eyes – Eye contact can help you pay attention and has the added benefit of making the speaker feel special. This is especially important in coaching, mentoring or leadership.

2. Summarize – when the person is finished, repeat back what you heard. When you know you are going to do that, you will pay more attention and stop thinking about what you are going to say next.

3.  Pay attention to you own body language -  Are your shoulders square to the person speaking? Are your arms uncrossed? Are you leaning forward slightly? These are all signs that you are listening.

I like to practice these skills on the people who mean the most to me; my children, my family, my friends,  my co-workers. I also make a conscious effort to practice this everyday with the people that I meet. You’ll have to ask them, but I hope they’ll tell you that after we’re done talking; they feel good because they know I’ve heard them. This is probably one of the most important things I do everyday.  I am interested in stories about how better listening is changing your life.

If you’re looking for a little more information, try this article called, “Now Pay Attention.”

The “Greater-Than-Yourself” Project

Do you know your greatest strengths and weaknesses? Have you written these down so you can really think about what you have to offer the people around you? If you have, you may be ready to participate in a special project.

The “Greater than Yourself” project, founded by Steve Farber, is a way we can each contribute to the greater good by selecting people that we can mentor.

Here are a few suggestions to get started in your mentoring efforts:
• Choose wisely; start with someone you know and trust, someone with drive & energy
• Mutually decide on what you’ll tackle to help the person grow and reach their goals
• Show them the ropes, introduce them to others, sing their praises
• Use tough love and encourage them
If each of us brought along just one person, think of all the leaders we would prepare.

The challenges ahead for our businesses and our country can seem overwhelming. One way to prepare for the future is to create leaders who are ready to take charge when their time comes.
By the way, while your mentee needs your help and guidance, let them be who they are. They are not “mini-me’s.”

I have mentored several people over the years and I especially like to work with young people. They are hungry for guidance and information and, generally, I learn a lot from them. I have mentored both men and women; people of many ages and races. The rewards are the same from each relationship; I gain a sense of purpose and the world gets a shining star. Each of them taught me to listen better and that is one of the best gifts I could have received.

Lastly, think about the richness of inter-generational collaboration. This isn’t just about the young teaching the older people technology or older people talking about “walking 5 miles in the snow with no boots.” It’s about building our future, capitalizing on the energy and open-mindedness of youth along with the wisdom of experience. Exciting things are bound to happen when we work together for the good of all!

To read more about Steve’s ideas, click here.