Posts tagged: positive thinking

Seasick

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I visited (helped out) one of my children recently; they just had their first child. Watching your child with their child is one of life’s great joys.  We are fortunate, mom and baby are doing well.

As I watch them learn about their new family member, I am impressed by their calmness. They are both exhausted and yet, they simply go with the flow. They don’t fight against the exhaustion or the baby’s crying; they just accept it. Together they figure out what to do and then they do it. If you were like them as a new parent, then you are probably thinking, what’s the big deal? Well, I applaud you too.

For many of us, being in an overwhelming circumstance is … overwhelming. Small things become big things. Irritability takes over. For those of us with depression, this is, unfortunately, somewhat normal. We are not calm in the face of things we can’t change. We fight, argue, moan, blame… everything but accept.

Leonard Cohen’s quote struck me because when I think back on how many times I did not… “become the ocean,” or surrender to/accept the circumstances, I realize that I could have (perhaps) saved myself some grief.  In those difficult days, the more I fought the ocean waves, the more ‘seasick’ I becameAfter many years, I learned how to surrender with dignity and peace of mind.

One of my favorite sayings is, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” Most of the time when I was lost, I thought I was my own teacher. I was wrong.

So if you find yourself in transition, if you are in the middle of a difficult time, I empathize. Ask yourself, am I fighting the waves? In the past when I have been ‘seasick, it’s because I didn’t know how to do anything differently. I didn’t know how to become the ocean. If you don’t know how to become the ocean (and you’re sick and tired of being seasick) ask for help. Start by asking one person. If they can’t help, ask someone else and keep asking until you find, your teacher.

If you don’t know Leonard Cohen, check him out. If you’ve never heard him sing this… you’re in for a treat.

Photo credit: direct current

Moments

“Exhaust the little moment. Soon it dies … and it will not come again…” Gwendolyn Brooks

It’s been a long, cold winter and yes, it’s only February. But since I got my dog, I am outside several times a day, no matter what the weather. This. is. good. It helps  me to be acutely aware of the birds, the squirrels, the ice, the temperature, everything.

For today, I encourage you to exhaust each little moment. Pay extra attention to the person talking to you. Taste that food. Smile more. Laugh more. I record America’s Funniest Home videos and watch it when I feel blue. It snaps me out of whatever negativity I might be feeling.

It’s easier to stay home than voyage, isn’t it? Will you share your secret for exhausting the little moment?

If you don’t know Gwendolyn Brooks, check her out. 

Growing Old Disgracefully

I hope I am growing old disgracefully.

I know I was a disgrace when I was young. Protesting the war in Vietnam, making too much noise, listening to REALLY loud rock music (which many people liked then and which even more people of all ages LOVE now), hitchhiking (yeah, you could do it in those days), drinking too much, cavorting. All the things that are also described as being young and foolish.

Today, I still protest (in my own way), am too loud, listen to really loud music (yes, I’m partially deaf from listening to all that loud music) and I still cavort. I have danced on a couple of bars in the past 6 months. Yes, I was completely sober when I did it. No one believed I would get up on that bar – haha, I fooled them. I did it just to see the look on all their faces.

Have you done anything disgraceful lately?

I still work a little too much (well, I’m a boomer after all) but my goal of doing less and being more is coming along.  Don’t get me wrong, I am a very responsible adult. Ask anyone who knows me. I just don’t want to be too grown up and one day, maybe the whole idea of permanent ‘grown-up’ status will be obsolete.

Shout out to Shirley Meredeen and the all the wonderful ladies in G. O. D. (disgraceful)

Photo credit: Borf

Image by Banksy (by the way, if you don’t know Banksy, check him out. He’s a terrific role model.

This is Your Life. Do What You Want…

“This is your life. Do what you want and do it often.
 If you don't like something, change it.
 If you don't like your job, quit.
 If you don't have enough time, stop watching TV.
 If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love.
 Stop over-analysing, life is simple.
 All emotions are beautiful.
 When you eat, appreciate every last bite.
 Life is simple.
 Open your heart, mind and arms to new things and people, we are united in our differences.
 Ask the next person you see what their passion is and share your inspiring dream with them.
 Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself.
 Some opportunities only come once, seize them.
 Life is about the people you meet and the things you create with them, so go out and start creating.
 Life is short, live your dream and wear your passion.”

Holstee Manifesto, The Wedding Day

 

Nothing to add… just do it.

May 2014 be your year to shine and give. We’re in this together folks. Peace.

 

 

Got Your Six

I just learned about this… Got Your Six.

In the military when someone tells you that they’ve “Got Your 6,” it means they’re watching your back.

This post is about 2 things:

1) Who’s back do you have and who’s got your back?

2) What are you doing to help our Veterans who are returning from service?

Regarding #1 – I think it’s my job to care for every person I meet. By  ‘care for’ I mean see them. Look in their eyes, smile and listen. As for who has my back… there are so many people who have watched over me; I am blessed. I am sending out a loving thank you to each of you today.

Regarding #2 – Our Veterans are coming back from service– they need our support. The “all-volunteer” group of servicemen and women face significant issues resulting from multiple tours of duty and injury — to the body and to the spirit. We can all do something.  We just need to find it. They need support in– jobs, education, health, housing, family and leadership.

We need to take the skill and experience of those who have served and let them show us the way — while we stand by them and stand up for them. It is our duty and privilege.

Living for Today… and Tomorrow

A year from now (General Electric poster)

My aha career moments… here are two.

1) I had been working in corporate America (a Fortune 25 company) when I got pregnant with my first child. I realized that if I was going to create the ‘life’ I wanted, I was going to have to figure out how to work part time. There were no ‘part-time’ ‘professional (non-exempt) women working as managers at the company at that time. I made my pitch to my boss… I’ll continue to manage the group, get my work done and you can pay me less (I’ll work 30 hours a week). In return, I’ll manage my own schedule. He didn’t want to say yes but I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. (Well he could have but he had a daughter my age..etc.) My aha moment was not getting the green light to test this new idea, which I did… the aha moment was the incredible push-back I got from my colleagues; particularly women.

Take-away: Be clear about your priorities and don’t let anyone stand in your way. I decided that the push-back came from inside these people. They were jealous that I was ‘brave’ enough to do something so radical (haha, radical).

2) Jumping off a cliff – When I left that same large corporation during a down-sizing (I was made an offer.. go back to full time or leave the company) — I decided to leave and start a company. I was the single mother of 2 school-aged children. People thought I was crazy. What they didn’t know was that I was carefully plotting my career to be an entrepreneur. Every assignment I took inside the corporation was designed to teach me a skill I would be able to use in my future entrepreneurial adventure. So I jumped off the cliff and started a company. It worked for about 2 years and then 9/11 happened and all our customer’s funding dried up.

Take-away: If you wait until everything is perfect, until you know what you’re going to do, until you’re certain… you’ll never jump. Some people are born to jump, some people aren’t. Don’t waste your time wishing you were one or the other. Know yourself and take the risks that make your life meaningful.

Live for today… the sun is shining, you can walk, talk, eat, smell, smile, see — but pay attention to your tomorrow. Don’t listen to others when they tell you — you can’t and leap when the leaping feels right. I sleep well at night and look in the mirror with a quiet confidence. I can always improve myself. But I can happily say; I didn’t let fear get interfere with doing it my way.

Image credit – GE Pinterest Board -That’s Genius – Thomas Edison

Tuko Pajoma

The word for the glimmering, roadlike reflection that the moon creates on water.

I have one special gift, I have a good ‘ear’…I can’t sing …but I can recognize and imitate sounds. This is why I studied languages in college. I started taking French in 3rd grade and then studied German and Spanish in college. I loved learning about culture through understanding the language. I had a chance to read Victor Hugo, Franz Kafka and Gabriel Garcia Marquez in their original languages. Let me assure you that there are MANY things that don’t translate from one language to another. We Americans think our language is sophisticated– in the sense that we accommodate words from all kinds of other languages. However, just like us as a nation, it is young and immature — with all the good and bad things that flow from that.

When I came across this article: How Do You Say…? For Some Words There is No Translation – I loved the idea and examples. I especially appreciated…

Swahili: Tuko pajoma -Denotes a shared sense of purpose and motivation in a group. It transcends mere agreement and implies empathetic understanding, or “We are together.”

As we move forward into this unknown and unknowable future.. let us remember Tuko pajoma. We have a shared sense of purpose and motivation… and that is to help one another, to find our way together and to learn and grow. This takes a conscious effort and I am glad you’re on this journey with me. I couldn’t do it without you.

Heiwa no tabi suru  May peace be your journey.

Image credit: How do you say…

You Asked For It… (Or Not)

The number one most common mistake at a job interview is:

failing to ask for the job*

WOW! Imagine if this is true. I took a few moments to think about how many times I wanted something– and walked away wondering why I didn’t get it and guess what I realized, more often than not, it was probably my own fault.

I didn’t open my mouth and say, “I’d like.. that job, that favor, that ‘whatever’…” but my own stubbornness or low self esteem or cowardice (ok, that’s a little strong) prevented me from getting what I wanted.

If in fact I want the job, why don’t I ask for it?

And if I want to be sure to get what I want, how do I get better at asking? The answer is; I practice. I practice asking for what I want. This requires me to know what I want. With some of us that’s the first step. Some people are completely clear about what they want (and some go to a lot of trouble to make sure EVERYONE knows and delivers). If you always are very clear about what you want and don’t have a problem asking for it.. then this post isn’t for you. But feel free to leave a comment!

However, if you are someone who generally knows what you want but sometimes hesitate to ask for it; I want you to stop and think about why that is.

Because every job is temporary.. we all need to be able to look for work and understand how our skills match a potential employer — efficiently and effectively. That includes opening our mouths and asking for the job when we find it. The worst that can happen is — we are told no. It may not be fun to hear no, but it’s better to hear no than silence. You can’t get a hit if you don’t swing the bat. You can do it.

Photo credit: brokenchopstick

*resource = How Interviewers Know

5 Things to Stop Doing – Right Now!

Are you ready to get on with the challenges that you face in your life? Your mouth says yes but your attitude and body language are saying no.

Now let me give you and me credit… we are doing a lot of hard stuff, everyday. Good for us. However, we live better than 95% of the people on the planet so let’s get to the heart of the matter. We’re soft.

If we’re soft… then we’re lousy role models and unimaginative workers/parents/business people/community leaders.

So pick one… any one of these and commit to stop doing it— even just for one day… today.

1) Blaming — what difference does it make who’s fault it is? What are you going to do about it? Sticky wicket relationship? I gotta do my part. Change my attitude. I’m not right. Who cares?

2) Judging – focus on yourself. Let others do what they need to. Live and let live.

3) Tilting at Windmills – when I get all upset over something I can’t change… it slowly dawns on me that I am wasting precious energy. I could be laughing. What the heck?

4) Defending – try listening instead.

5) Being afraid. What’s the worst that can happen? I can tell you that many people have lived through MUCH worse. You can do.

Here’s a good article on 10 things to stop doing. I believe in you.

Photo credit: broken glasses 1   Photographer jfg

 

Life’s Like a Ten-Speed Bike…

“Life is like a ten-speed bike… most of us have gears we’ve never tried.” Charles Schulz (creator of Charlie Brown comics)

I’ve led a rather colorful life. I had the advantage of growing up in a difficult family environment. Why do I consider that an advantage? Because I can empathize with people — in fact almost everyone. Pushing myself is part of my DNA and my life circumstances.

So what’s that go to do with the 10 speed bike? Well, because I know what it’s like to be hungry and scared… I’ve probably used a few more of my gears than others. Would I wish difficulty on anyone – no. But I can tell you that it made me the person I am and I am happy that I have challenged myself in almost every aspect of life.

So how do we figure out which gears we’ve used and which gears we ought to try?  It’s a matter of understanding where we’re comfortable. Trying a new gear has to do with making a conscious choice to do things differently.

Here are my energy gears:

  1. asleep
  2. before I’ve had my tea BUT I wake up everyday in a great mood. (it’s truly annoying to those around me)
  3. reading, skimming, thinking, meditating
  4. making art in my little studio or creative writing
  5. at work, talking to folks, making sure I’m present in my day
  6. starting something new or pushing through an existing project
  7. talking in front of a small group – less than 50 people
  8. talking to a big group > 50 people – energy needs to be really high
  9. going into a room full of strangers and talking to people (takes everything I’ve got)
  10. Not sure what this is..

This is only one measure of the gears that relate to the amount and kind of energy I need to summon. What are your gears and what pushes you use new ones?

Photo credit: Snowed In Chris Metcalf