Posts tagged: self awareness

Trading Places

Image result for rich and famous

Whatever you think about Jim Carrey… I think he’s on to something here (even though the English isn’t good.)

I often hear people wishing their lives were different. “I wish I had a lot of money… I wish I had a big house… I wish I were famous.”

But the truth is… there isn’t anyone in the world I would trade places with. I had a rough “growing up,” — worse than many middle class kids… better than many low income kids. I was born with good health, white skin and a good brain.

When you think you wish you had… x, y, z… when you look at some other person, family, job, car and wish you had it, stop yourself. The truth is, you don’t know anything about that other person’s life. What you see on the surface, may NOT reflect the reality.

My two cents: be grateful for what you have, for who you are. You are a gift to the world and you’re here for a reason. Figure it out.

Are You A ‘DTM’ – Difficult to Manage?

What Is a DTM?

I was one of those employees labeled as ‘difficult to manage.’ When I worked in corporate america, I wasn’t intimidated by anyone’s position in the company. I tended to say my ideas out loud, even when they weren’t solicited. I was comfortable organizing chaos and happy when working with a team to make progress where others didn’t see how it could be done. I haven’t changed; much.

In this article in the Harvard Business Review, “Improve Your Ability to Learn,I finally feel vindicated. Here’s how they describe such an employee (aka me).

“While talented, Alex had come to be known behind closed doors by the moniker “DTM” – difficult to manage. He marched to the beat of his own drummer, and he wasn’t afraid to challenge the status quo. He loved a challenge, and he was comfortable taking risks.”

Oh, Oh, Now What Do I Do?

The point of this article is that some DTM’s can be exemplary in their ability to learn, including the importance of “learning agility, a set of qualities and attributes that allow an individual to stay flexible, grow from mistakes, and rise to a diverse array of challenges.” It’s gratifying to know that my brashness and challenging personality were actually good things.

Here are some characteristics of DTM’s – we tend to be more extroverted, focused, original and resilient and less accommodating to slow progress and excuses. If you have these characteristics, try the following – look for stretch assignments, regularly seek real input and most of all, enhance your listening skills. As for me, I’m old… too late for me to get along like a nice girl.

Photo credit: Five tips

Oh Lord, Please Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood

So <i>very</i> many ways to interpret this label.</p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />  <p><i>Not taken by me.</i>

Imagine All The People, Living Life in Peace

John Lennon wrote a song called Imagine. The song asks us to imagine a world with out countries, religion, ‘nothing to kill or die for…’

Part of this “imagining” fundamentally denies or perhaps ‘polishes’ our human desire for belonging.  Without color, race, nationality, language, heritage, family… how do we know were we belong? But it is exactly that ‘belonging’ that separates us from one another. I’m a Christian, you’re a Muslim. We’re different.

Part of our ‘comfort’ with the world is predictability. Being able to know what will happen next. My daily rituals order in my life. But it is precisely in ‘not knowing’, taking a risk, going on a adventure, that we become stronger and more fully human.

Connect With The Person, Let Go Of Your ‘Belonging’

For today, I’m going to ask you to think of someone whose point of view you simply don’t understand. Now, picture yourself as them. Going to work, loving their family, eating lunch with a friend. Are they really all that different from you?

The next time you feel misunderstood, encounter someone thinks you’re crazy or you feel isolated in your view of the world… stop and say, it’s ok. We disagree. I’m not lost, they are not lost. We simply disagree. I don’t have to make sure that they know I’m right.

Thanks to Seth Godin for the idea for this post. Title credit: Don’t Let Me Be MisunderstoodThe Animals

Photo credit: Does not work    CarbonNYC

Audit Yourself (No B.S. Allowed)

Image result for self awareness

Today’s Hustle Is

… have a company, get money from other people, learn on their nickel. A lot of good that comes from this. Ideas get vetted and people learn valuable skills. What’s not good – the idea that you need to be the leader of a company, ‘your’ company. Everyone has to listen to YOU. You make the rules, you decide what happens. You’re in charge.

This. is. not. leadership.

Being a Leader Requires Self-Awareness

It takes a big person to look in the mirror and say, I am not good at that. And I don’t mean… I’m not good at math. I mean, I’m not a good listener, I’m not generous, I’m self-absorbed.

When we try to lead others without self-awareness, we simply draw them into our drama. We may be very smart or charismatic or well-connected and that’s how we’ve gotten as far as we have. But when it comes to knowing ourselves, we’re nowhere.

Do you know someone over 40 who is completely oblivious of the effect his/her personality on others? Especially in the workplace? It’s depressing.

Get On With It

Areas for examination are: personality, values, habits, needs and emotions.  Here’s Gary Vaynerchuk’s take on the importance of self awareness. He suggest that we audit ourselves. I’m going to work on my audit. I’m going to start with habits. I think I need some new ones.

A Dog Never Tells What She Knows…

A dog can never tell you what she knows from the smells of the world, but you know, watching her, that you know almost nothing. Mary Oliver

This is my dog Gildie. She is the first dog I have ever had.

What is there to learn from your first dog? Wow. Everything. She is so excited to wake up every day and play. I need this.

She is motivated by food and people and toys. She is completely engaged in life except when she’s asleep and then she’s completely engaged in that.

I got a dog so I would have to go for a walk everyday. Rain or snow, whatever the weather, I needed a reason to get up and walk. Since she has the energy of 2 toddlers, I am compelled to play, walk, laugh and be completely engaged with her.

The quote above about how a dog perceives the world — through her nose– was brought home to me on one of those walks. She trusts her nose more than her eyes and it got me thinking. Which of my senses do I trust the most?

I am certain my eyes deceive me. Happily, I learned to trust my gut. Take all the information and sift it through the sensor that is my years of experience.What do you rely on? What you see, what you hear, what you believe? Do you jump to conclusions about people?

Understand how you learn and make decisions and you’ll be more effective in everything you do. How free are you with your opinions? Do you offer to give everyone the benefit of your wisdom? Or do you use your experience to let others find their own path? Use all the information given to you to help you be a better friend, co-worker, partner and parent. We’ll all benefit.

Are You a Risk-Taking, Risk-Tolerant or Risk-Averse Person?

Most of us would agree that surfing can be a dangerous sport, yet lots of people — all over the world– surf. Why? The reasons are complex but the psychology boils down to — how much risk are we willing to take in our daily life? Some of it is related to our personality and upbringing, some of it is our drive and competitive spirit.  To learn more about our own risk acceptance or aversion —  answer the following question:

On a scale of 1 to 10, how willing are you to take risks?

— If your first thought is to ask questions like.. under what circumstances… then count yourself in the 1-5 bracket.

— If you immediately thought… yeah, I’m willing to take a risk… but not a stupid one; then count yourself in the 6-8 bracket.

— If you helicopter ski or big wave surf… then count yourself in the 9-10’s.

Understanding your risk profile is important because as you go through life’s up and downs, you may need to either increase or decrease the level of risk you’re taking depending on the situation.

In a difficult economy, more risk is required. We see more women and 20 something’s starting businesses than ever before. Is this because women today are better risk takers than previous generations? I don’t think so. I think it’s because the times require us to be inventive.

Many people are doom and gloom about the economy and I will grant you, there are many issues to be concerned about. I would also suggest that, as Americans, we rise to the challenges in surprising and wonderful ways.

Are you taking appropriate risks for the circumstances of your life? If not, check out, “It’s Takes Guts to Start A Company,” from Fast Company magazine.  I particularly like these 2 quotes,

  • “Guts-driven entrepreneurs aren’t fearless; they just know how to cope with, and maybe even thrive in, uncomfortable environments”
  • “The guts to endure lets us recognize that failure is not an option but rather a reality”

Look deep into your risk portfolio. Are you taking the right risks? If not, what are you going to do about it?

Photo credit: mikebaird Father and son surf lesson