A 30-something is in the middle of a job interview. The hiring manager is excited about the young man sitting in front of him.
From the hiring manager’s point of view, the interview is going very well. He has laid out the requirements, is satisfied that the candidate has good qualifications and equally as important, he seems to be a good fit for the group
The young man pauses and stops to think and then says,
“Thank you very much for your time today. I am very grateful but from my perspective this interview is over.”
The hiring manager is completely taken aback. “What do you mean?
The candidate continues, “I like your company, but you just finished telling me how many long hours you work. I have no objection to long hours when they are needed to complete a project. You also just finished telling me about how you miss spending enough time with your family. I am looking for a company whose leadership is committed to work/family balance. So while I appreciate your time, I think we are not a good fit.”
Dumbfounded, the hiring manager said goodbye. Initially, he was furious. How dare that kid tell me anything about running a business. After discussing the event with a few others, he started to think seriously about the candidate’s point of view.
There are a lot of reasons why the best and brightest may not want to work for you. Check out this article by (one of my favorites) David Meerman Scott called, “How to Build a Crappy Workforce.” Perhaps you’re not scrambling for talent yet but you will be and if you think changing your culture now is difficult — imagine what it will be like when the economy is back full steam.
If a beaver really thought about all the work it would take to build a new home (dam), (s)he might never start. But since the need, desire and drive to build are innate… he doesn’t stop before he starts.
Somewhere along the way, human beings, who start out curious and driven (just watch a baby learn to walk) – we stop learning new things. How many times have you stopped yourself from trying something new because you were afraid?
Is it looking, acting or sounding stupid or admitting you don’t know something? We think that if we act like we’re not sure that we’ve somehow failed. The older we get, the less likely we are to try something different. We need to recalibrate our ideas so that learning new things is what’s good!
Here are my suggestions for staying hungry. Those of you who know me, know I’m already foolish (thank goodness!)
Everyday do something you don’t want to do… just for practice. Don’t gripe or complain, just do it. If you say one word about it to anyone, it doesn’t count. Do it for 7 days in a row and then talk with someone about the experience.
If you have a chance, watch a child learn new things. Do they get frustrated easily?
Make a list of the last 5 things you learned. Is it an easy list to construct or did you have to think about it for a while?
Set a goal to learn something new and take one small step towards it.
If you want to be Steve Jobs (author of ‘stay hungry, stay foolish’ and noted perfectionist) then this post is not for you. If you’re a mere mortal, then please tell me…. how do you stay hungry?
I enjoy meeting new people and helping them succeed. I understand the importance of networking and when I ask someone to meet me; I offer to buy them a cup of coffee. Two dollars is a small investment to show someone that I appreciate their time.
I am grateful that I have the time and ability to volunteer and help as many people as I can.
When people ask to meet me, say they want to ‘pick my brain’ or ask me to make introductions to my contacts and don’t even offer to buy me a cup of coffee; I take note. What kind of employee will this person make if they don’t understand common courtesy? I am taking this post to heart. I resolve to buy more coffees in 2011 to thank all those who help me.
Recently I was helping someone prepare for an important interview by asking her all kinds of questions. One that caught her flatfooted was, “Tell me about one of your weaknesses.” Arghhh. Who’s prepared to answer that stupid question? You could try:
– “I’m a know-it-all perfectionist and I need to be in charge.”
– “People drive me crazy and I’m not a team player.”
– So why not say… “I don’ t have any weaknesses.”
Hmmm, that just screams — I have NO self awareness. Not a good answer. Are you a grown up who understands his/her shortcomings and what to do about them? Or are you a shallow so and so who will just make everyone nuts?
We all have strengths (by the way, can you answer that important question?) and we all have little places that could use improving. The goal is to reply with something that you are really working on but not admit that you are a loser.
For example, I like to say something like…”I’m always working on my listening skills. I try to make sure that I am hearing the other person well enough to repeat back what they just said to me.” I say this because I really believe that listening is one of the most important skills in any person’s toolkit.
I also like the, “I’m very dedicated to the job and am working on seeking balance….” Yeah, don’t hire me because I work too hard.
Check out the article, “How to Answer the, ‘What’s Your Biggest Weakness’ Question”. Be honest but not too honest. The interviewer is listening and watching to see how you handle yourself in a difficult situation. Be prepared and then relax.
If you have talent, there will always be someone telling you how to use it. Talent is in short supply, and smart people always have a vision for how you should use yours.
It’s a struggle to balance the need for earning a living and finding a satisfying way to use your talents. There are no courses in school for understanding your gifts and then figuring out how to best use them. Mostly, we tell kids to follow a career path and it’s hard to argue with that. But that doesn’t necessarily help them figure out how to be happy.
The tightrope is the journey to create the life you want. Please don’t be afraid of what other people will say. If they have time to talk about you, they’re not focusing on their own tightrope/happiness. They are likely too afraid to get up on the wire! How about thinking about your fulfillment goals instead your career goals.
When I was young, someone said to me, “be bold and great forces will come to your aid.” I never forgot that.
You don’t have to do something outrageous or outlandish to be true to yourself. But you probably have to bear the weight of people telling you that you’re wrong. Be strong, look for allies and be yourself. There’s no one like you in the whole world.
Inspiring and very entertaining video (also found in Joshua’s blog). Thanks Josh!
I like Linked In. I think it has done a lot of things right and I appreciate all the forward thinking people who have created this terrific tool.
Everything in social media is changing all the time and while it makes it challenging for us to stay on top of those changes, it’s logical because there are financial, technological and practical reasons for the constant upheaval.
I am surprised by job seekers who know little about how the power of Linked In can help them in their job search. It continues to be the #1 tool I recommend for people looking to build their network contacts and find work. There are so many ways to use it to attract recruiters and hiring managers; particularly now that the job market is picking up. For more tips on using Linked In, check out this article, Ten Tips for Getting the Most Out of Linked In.
There are a few negatives in using Linked In that in no way outweigh the benefits. However, in recent months, these issues have become more problematic and if you are just starting with Linked In, you may benefit from understanding these things.
Large groups can be full of spam now. Don’t let this discourage you from using groups. They are a fantastic way to meet people. You may have to work a little harder to find groups that are just professionals talking to one another.
I’ve noticed that some people are sending out unsolicited emails about events or their groups. When I replied to one person that it was spam, they started arguing with me. I said, “if it comes to my in box and I didn’t ask for it and I don’t want it it’s spam.” Period.
I’ve noticed that when I look at the connections for one of my contacts, they are no longer in alphabetical order. This isn’t a big deal but…
Asking and answering questions, uploading presentations, looking for jobs and searching for contacts at key companies are all incredibly useful parts of Linked In.
Here’s my funny Linked In story. I was giving a talk at an entrepreneurial conference on social media. The crowd was great. As I left the venue, a young man stopped me and said, “I’m sorry I missed your talk on social media. Can you tell me about Linked In?” I said, “Sure, it’s like an electronic Rolodex.” He looked at me blankly and said, “What’s a Rolodex?”
For those of us who have heard these words, just reading them in can make us wince.
The new George Clooney movie, Up in the Air, is about being let go. I recommend it to anyone who’s in transition. (Grab a friend and head to a matinee; you’ll be glad you did.) Up in the Air is just like hell in the hallway. You may not choose it, but once you’re there, you have choices to make. Action is necessary, patience is key.
When I was young, I was fired from a job. Here’s the story. For one of my first jobs, I worked part time selling shoes. The store manager kept telling me to ask every customer if they wanted a purse, stockings and other ‘stuff’ in addition to the shoes. The few times I tried it, the customer snorted at me. I didn’t like pushing items that people didn’t ask for. I knew I wasn’t cut out for that kind of selling and so did my boss. He gently “let me go” 2 weeks before Christmas.
Later in my career, when I was laid off from Eastman Kodak after 17 years; I was fortunate. I was offered several alternative positions but ultimately I took a package and left the company to start my own business.
Do you feel stuck or are you energized? Are you using your time wisely or are you worrying your days away? What are you teaching your children by your actions?
There are so many free interesting educational opportunities. Here is just one: free video courses from Columbia, Yale, UCLA, Michigan and MIT.
Whether it’s continuing your education, upgrading your skills, finding a mentor, starting a business or deciding to change professions; you do not have to be afraid to hear those words. My favorite saying works at any time of the year: change is good, timing is everything, patience is the key.
“You do not have to be good,” is a line from a poem by Mary Oliver (Wild Geese). When I first read that line I was shocked. Growing up an Irish Catholic in Boston (yes, home of the Puritans), I learned early in life that ‘being good’ was required.
Over the years, I learned that while being good is an important part of ‘being a good person,” believing that I had to be good all the time caused problems. Why? Because it meant that I had to pretend that I never got angry. And anger is a normal part of a person’s range of emotions. It’s not getting or feeling angry that’s a problem; it’s what we do with that anger.
To release my anger appropriately I learned to:
Hit the bed with a tennis racket (try it, it’s great!)
Scream loudly while driving in the car (alone, of course- on the highway is best)
Exercise and play sports
Listen to really loud music (and dance around)
Talk to a friend, who will listen and not give advice (second part is really important)
In times of stress, we all find ways to cope. At this time of the year, particularly with New Year’s resolutions flying around, I want us to talk about this emotion. I can be a hidden enemy since there are a lot of unhealthy ways to cope with it. And worst of all, when I don’t deal with it, it comes out sideways in the form of overeating,unnecessary shopping and yelling at the people at inappropriate times. I really don’t want to do any of those.
I dislike new year’s resolutions so I’m not making any. I do like focus and I have my eyes on the prize for 2010.
Mine are:
1) Live one day at a time, just this day right here.
2) Tell the people who mean the most to me how much I love them, everyday.
That’s it.
Got constructive ways of dealing with anger? Please share them so we can all learn to cope better.
This is my favorite question to ask when I’m interviewing for a job. I say, “I’m looking for a great place to work. Why is Xyz Company a great place to work?” The range of responses is revealing.
Some hiring managers have already answered this question in the way they talk about their work, their team and the company. It is apparent from their enthusiasm that they like where they work.
Others are not as comfortable. I look for body language to read between the lines. Slumping shoulders, a lowering of their voice, eyes to the floor (maybe all in a split second) tell me that they are not as convinced as they’d like to be.
I liked this article on, determining the corporate culture of a company. While jobs are tight (and they won’t be forever), the ability to assess whether a company is a good fit for us is an important skill.
Think about answering these questions for the last place you worked and then think of the answers you’d like to have for your next employer.
What 5 key words or key phrases best describe your company?
What would you guess would be the 5 key words or phrases that your (husband/wife…) would use to describe your company?
What is your favorite day of the workweek? Why?
By the way, turnabout is fair play. I am always prepared to answer their question about why I’m the kind of employee who would contribute to making their company a great place to work. Happy Holidays.
There’s a new movie coming out called the Lemonade Movement. Lemonade Movie. I don’t know much about it except that I watched this video trailer for it and found it inspirational. The clip shows people who have lost their jobs who are now doing new, fun and fulfilling work. Not what they planned on… but much better. So I say, they’re doing it right. If you haven’t seen it yet, take a minute to watch this short video of people who lost their jobs and found themselves.
I’m just like these folks and many of you; I’m out there finding my way. I know that though there are many risks and a lot of uncertainty; there are also some very cool rewards. Each of us can find our way. That’s what makes it good. What’s even better is that we can stand by each other and offer encouragement. I hope you’ll take a minute today and encourage yourself and someone else.
And speaking of doing it right; if you don’t know or follow Chris Brogan, I suggest you check him out. Chris is the co-author of a terrific book call Trust Agents. Check out his book and blog and my favorite, his newsletter. He writes it like he’s talking just to me. He reminds me to help and promote others, not to take myself too seriously and to always do good work. I appreciate that because I know he is walking the walk.
You are on the verge of something something big. Let me know what it is…
A 30-something is in the middle of a job interview. The hiring manager is excited about the young man sitting in front of him.
job search, Life Transitions, skills, social media | Deborah | 
December 13, 2011 9:36 am | 
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